PEOPLE FROM THE FBI describe TOM CRUISE as a dangerous, deluded, crazy individual. Which, you know, SEEMS PRETTY REASONABLE TO ME.
Oh, some RANDOM ACTION-MOVIE PLOT involving a SUPER SECRET PERPETUAL ENERGY SOURCE, GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACIES, ARMS DEALERS, CRAZY RUSSIANS and so on. Might as well be XENU to be honest.
By the Numbers
- Tom Cruise: 1
- Everyone else on the plane: 0
- People that care that June was on the crashed flight: 2
- People that care that June denies there being a crash: 0
- People that care that Tom Cruise is car-surfing: 0
- Methods of transport used: 7
- Tom Cruise creepiness: 1533
- Minutes June is capable of being angry for: 2
- Minutes June is capable of being competent for: 3
- Missiles fired by super secret bizzarro-plane: 12
- Warhead size of each missile: negligible
- Bridesmaid’s dress + thigh-high boots combo: over 9000