Another guest review by Danfox Davies!

Synopsis

A VACUOUS FAN GIRL conveniently finds herself marooned on a DESERT ISLAND with a VACUOUS BOY BAND LEAD SINGER. Unwanted CROWD SURFING. GOSSIP.

Robinson Crusoe it ain’t.

By the Numbers

  • Temperature in Indonesia: 95
  • Robin Williams wannabe, in false melodrama: 22.2
  • In auto-failed efforts to be cool: 8.7
  • Comprendez: 6
  • Ungrateful brats: 2
  • Arbiters of taste: 0
  • Arbiters of Chester: somehow, 1
  • Baywatch × cheesy romantic comedy – all remaining intellect = this.
  • Arbitrary manufactured plot points: over 9000
  • Miles from civilisation: 3
  • Vacuous Bimbos surviving hurricanes: too many
  • That’s: What she said.
  • Caves dwelt in: 1
  • Cumulative IQ of characters: 1
  • Subtitles, in alignment to speech: -20
  • Lies subverted: 100 percent
  • Lies subsequently reverted: 100 percent
  • Things this somehow makes OK: 100 percent
  • Error: 404, plot not found.

Overall: -3000 / 5

And the moral of this story is… Vacuous bratty bimbo fans always get to live out their fantasies with no negative consequences?