Synopsis

Someone let ABBA make a MOVIE.  OH CHRIST.

(Enter CHRIST, stage left.)

By the Numbers

  • Utterly ridiculous scene changes: 207
  • Utterly annoying songs: 12
  • Utterly bizarre outfits: 37
  • Films saved by Julie Walters: 1
  • HIPPY PIERCE BROSNAN: 1
  • Distressingly Speedo’d Greeks: 13
  • Units of alcohol consumed by characters in this movie: 176
  • Units of alcohol consumed by the script writers of this movie: 918
  • Units of alcohol consumed by me while watching this movie: significant
  • Average strangers-to-couple time: 24 seconds
  • ABBA Factor: Over 9000
  • Bollywood Factor: Over 9000000
  • Over-acting Factor: Over 9000000000
  • Scientific, DNA-based paternity tests: 0

Overall: 3 / 5

Nurse! Donkey testicles, quickly!