The Legend of the Titanic

Synopsis

Actually, all those HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE who were “MISSING” in the GREATEST MARITIME TRAGEDY OF ALL TIME were TOTALLY FINE and it was all a GREAT BIG MISUNDERSTANDING and THE DAY WAS SAVED by FLYING DOLPHINS and CTHULHU and CARTOON. FUCKING. MICE.

I’m starting to wonder if THE FUCKING RAPPING DOG might not have been an improvement after all.

By the Numbers

Overall: THIS FILM IS NOW THE GREATEST MARITIME DISASTER IN HISTORY

THIS IS AN ACTUAL FUCKING WAR CRIME

i need more gin

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