Synopsis

ATHOS is a NINJA FROGMAN.  ARAMIS is BAT-SNAPE.  MILADY DE WINTER is QUEEN ELIZABETH.  PORTHOS and D’ARTAGNAN are… pretty accurately portrayed, to be honest.

Together, they fight CRIME THE CHURCH!  And its INEXPLICABLE ZEPPELIN!

By the Numbers

  • Games of Medieval: Total War played: 2
  • Macguffins: 3
  • Uses of Bullet-time: 3
  • Booby traps, per corridor: over 9000
  • Tripwires, per vault: over 9000
  • Buttercup: 1
  • Horses given parking tickets: 1 [citation needed]
  • Swashes buckled: 725
  • Lord Flashhearts: 1
  • Baldricks: 1
  • Wenches on winches: 1
  • Airship-mounted flamethrowers: 1
  • Steampunk factor: significant
  • Century: Allegedly, 17th
  • Muskets used by musketeers: as always, zero

Overall: 4 / 5

Cheese rating: Roquefort (obviously)

Seventeenth Century airships and the Notre Dame cathedral?
RULE 34.  NO.  FUCKING.  EXCEPTIONS.