Synopsis

ELLEN PAGE discovers the NOT-SO-SECRET TRUTH that BEAUTY PAGEANTS suck, while INDISCRIMINATE VIOLENCE while on ROLLER SKATES is actually pretty awesome.

Also DREW BARRYMORE directs a MOVIE in which she gets REPEATEDLY ELBOWED IN THE FACE.

By the Numbers

  • Giant Pigs: 1
  • Gianter Hats: 1
  • Non-grating pronunciations of the word “derby”: 0
  • Suitably punny names: 34
  • Percentage of this film that is an explanation of the rules of roller derby: 25
  • Percentage of this film that is an explanation that the important parts are the punny names and the violence: 35
  • Panty Shots: 15
  • Balls grown: 2
  • Bizarre t-shirt swapping mating rituals: 1
  • Ferrets: 0

Overall: 4 / 5