Categories
Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Synopsis

CRAZY TERRORIST OF THE WEEK steals an UNREALISTIC NUCLEAR LAUNCH MACGUFFIN.  A BUNCH OF PEOPLE then converge on DUBAI to have a great big FIGHT and PISS IN THE FACE OF PHYSICS.

THE GOGGLES… THEY DO SOMETHING.

By the Numbers

  • Hawkeyes: 1
  • Super Hawkeye Trousers: 1 (pair)
  • Gloves of Continuity Error: +1
  • Newton’s Laws mocked: 3
  • International Monetary Funds: 0 …or…?
  • Largely Unnecessary bitch-fights: 1
  • Incidences of totally normal Middle-Eastern driving: 7
  • Product placements, sponsored by BMW: over 9000
  • Minutes that Hawkeye worries about the prospect of being in a hot server room: somehow, more than zero
  • Jefferies Tubes, magnetically levitated in: 1
  • Simon Pegg Sysadmin skill level: over 9000 (Trolololo)
  • These: 1

Overall: RATING: IMPOSSIBLE

INITIATE WIZARD PROTOCOL ALPHA
THIS WEB SERVER IS COMPROMISED
BY THE NUCLEAR MACGUFFIN (+1 VS XENU)
ONLY SIMON PEGG CAN SAVE YOU NOW
YES I AM DRUNK WHAT OF IT
/ 5

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