Tag: Personal

  • Anxiety!

    This isn’t a particularly easy post to write, but with it being Mental Health Awareness Week (at least, it is in America), I thought I’d give it a go anyway.

  • Pokemon Going

    Bournemouth Gardens is packed on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Shoppers bustle past, teenagers play on the grass, but today more than usual their gaze is directed downwards at their phones. Kids, adults, old and young; cyclists, bus drivers and big hairy bikers all alike. In a parallel universe, the place is dotted with spinning cubes and buried under a thick drift of cherry petals.

  • Goodbye, Dungeon

    Today, Southampton’s Dungeon club announced that it would be closing this weekend. Although it’s been a long time since our university days, it’s sad to see it go. It’s one of the formative places of my youth—I was introduced to the place at age 18, full of nerves; by 21 the Hobbit and the Dungeon was our regular night out, and we couldn’t go to either without running into someone we knew.

  • The Bookmark

    The second book is nearly finished now, the one that not so long ago I thought I had lost the knack of reading. For all my worries, I had not lost the knack of reading, or of filling my mind and body and soul with all that I read.

  • A Most Productive Week

    January, it seems, has become our decorating month. Last year around this time, we finally sorted out Joseph’s bedroom, replacing the magnolia and jungle theme with something more to his current taste (and much tidier).

  • Enforced Reading Time

    Whilst faffing around with my blog the other day—in a regular incidence of “it ain’t broke but I’m going to fix it anyway”—I discovered some old half-written short stories that never made it to the web. (These two, if you’re interested.) Scrolling through the list of files that comprise my past attempts at fiction, it was immediately obvious that I’d not written even a scrap of a story since 2013. Worse, it’s been four years since I wrote anything complete—a paltry 342-word story called “Silence”, which my wife pestered me into writing. The last time I wrote something complete for myself was 2011.

  • A Comfortable Year

    Looking back on previous posts from New Years’ Eve, 2015 almost feels like a disappointment. There’s no pictures of far-flung deserts and mountains this year—I haven’t been abroad with work for so long that British Airways sent me a nice letter, telling me I’d been demoted to a mere peasant in their eyes and could no longer abuse the facilities of the business class lounge.

  • Last Flight of the Vulcan

    The morning dawned slowly, dark and damp. The roaring of the coffee machine echoed the roaring of the rain driving at the windows outside, and we assumed that would be that for the air festival this year. Looking at the forecast, it seemed like summer itself was over too. The next week will be overcast and wet, and then it will be September, and the long autumn season will draw in.

  • A Middle-Class Malaise

    It occurs to me, as I sit and mope about the fact that I still don’t own a little slate-roofed cottage by the sea, that I’m suffering from what must be the most terribly middle-class malaise.

  • Another Decade Older

    Time flies when you’re having fun. And somehow, without really realising it, I turned thirty years old.

  • Fun with Parental Controls

    Now that our son is getting older, it’s inevitable that his computer use is no longer closely scrutinised — we no longer need to be hanging over his shoulder, showing him what to click on.

  • Another Year Gone By

    Lights flicker and fade, drawing the year to a close. Outside, the weather is warming and slowly burning the frost away; a tiny ripple before the wave of heat to come, before it is summer again.

  • Faded Dreams in Winter

    Like many, I came of age with a head full of dreams about what my adult life would be like. I thought maybe I’d live in a big old cottage, raise my children in a little village by the sea, have a wood fire burning through the winter and I’d decorate the house for every season. We’d have a garden to grow vegetables and keep hens, we’d have plenty of money and the house would always be tidy, and we’d be together at home each Christmas morning.

  • All I Want for Christmas

    As December gets into full swing, one of the joyous seasonal activities that must be undertaken is the ritual filling of my Amazon wishlist with a bunch of crap I don’t need. This is all to help those stubborn relatives who can’t bring themselves to believe I’m telling the truth when I say “I don’t want anything”.

  • Raspberry Jammin’

    Last Saturday was the Linux User & Developer Raspberry Jam event at Poole RNLI college. I took the tank, of course, and Joseph too — worrying all the while that he’d be the youngest kid there by about ten years, and he’d get bored within half an hour.

  • The Lego of Tomorrow

    “All I’m doing is building stuff,” Joseph says.
    “That’s what Minecraft is good for, isn’t it?” I reply. “It’s like Lego with infinite pieces.”
    “Yeah,” he says, and turns back to his computer screen; back to the childhood task of creating the new.
    I turn back to the washing up that I was in the middle of, back to my adult role of cleaning and tidying and preserving that which already exists.

  • Lost in Translation

  • Another Summer Gone

    A young man of twenty-eight summers, I cling to that word “young” as long as I can, though already it is slipping away. As another summer departs, and with it another year, autumn permeates body and soul.

  • Sharing Isn’t Caring

    Like many angsty young adults, I spent the last few months of my time at University wondering what would become of the friendships I’d made there — which friends I’d keep in touch with; how often I’d see them. Having lived and worked with many of them, and shared each other’s lives in such minute detail, how could I deal with not having that constant interaction any more?

  • The Last of Last.fm: Seven Years in Pretty Graphs

    I started using Last.fm back in 2006, in the final months of my time at University, and have carried on using it up until a few months ago, despite coming to the conclusion that I should stop back in 2011. Although the social media narcissism of “everyone must know what I’m listening to!” is no longer appealing in these days of over-sharing, I kept my Last.fm account around for its free “recommendations” streaming services until deciding earlier this year that a Spotify subscription was a worthwhile investment.

  • The Ego, the Social Graph, and the Great Unfriending

    Long ago, in the early years of Facebook’s rise to power, it became apparent that it had another key feature alongside feeds and wall posts – the friends list. Not only was it a good way to keep in touch with friends after University, it also became a good way of declaring who those friends were. This aspect was emphasized more and more as the site’s user base increased; you could now keep a quite exhaustive catalogue of who you knew. There were even apps on Facebook’s fledgling platform that allowed to to map those friends, and see interesting groups and connections form.

  • Lament for Web 0.1

    With every passing day, my Facebook feed is spending more and more time informing me that old school friends “like Amazon”. (No shit, really?) In the background, it’s fiddling our feeds, showing and hiding entries according to what it thinks is relevancy, and also what it thinks is profit for itself. Game spam is constant. On the other side of the fence, Twitter is trying to force out the third-party clients that made it great, so that it can monetise its users more easily.

  • Looking Stupid — For Charity!

    It’s nearly November again, and that means two things. Firstly, my glum acceptance for the tenth year in a row that I cannot write a novel given a whole lifetime to do it in, let alone a single month. It also means I have the wonderful opportunity to look silly for charity. (More silly than normal, anyway.) Yes indeed, I have been coerced into growing a ridiculous moustache for the duration of November, in order to raise money for the charities Prostate Cancer UK and the Institute of Cancer Research. Yep, it’s ‘Mo’vember.

  • The Problem with Phone Upgrades

    I am due to upgrade my mobile phone in a couple of months, so yet again it’s time to pick the best of a generally bad bunch that I will be lumbered with for the next two years. Roughly speaking, my choice is:

  • The Need for Mobile General Computation (aka, why I’m stuck with Android)

    My mobile phone contract has well and truly hit the “18-month itch” stage – although I still have six months until an upgrade is due, I can’t help but look at adverts and scan gadget blogs and think “ooh, I want one of those”.

  • On Very Small PCs

    With my recent acquisition of a Bluetooth keyboard added to the PowerSkin, my phone has completed its transition from thin, attractive polycarbonate slate to the monstrous assault on product design you see before you.

  • My Son vs the Global Monoculture

    The other day I set to wondering what Joseph would make of his Spanish heritage – much more immediate for him with Spanish grandparents than my own distant Scottish and Irish relatives whom I was born too late to meet.  But I suspect the answer will be “not much” – that he will grow up like all children of the twenty-first century, considering national and regional cultures to be a thing of only historical significance.  Cheap travel and global communications are already merging cultures, and the pace of the change is only going to increase.

  • Rage Against the Council: Why Recycling in Flat Blocks Sucks

    A few minutes ago, I attempted the simple task of taking out a bag full of recycling.  Having circumnavigated the car that some thoughless Mazda-driver saw fit to park in front of the area where our recycling bins are kept, I discovered this:

  • Of Software and Magic

    Lightning crackles through my hind-brain, adenosine receptors lighting up in sequence as caffeine molecules finish their long journey from the hillsides of South America to the grey mass of proteins from which spawn consciousness. My eyes open wider, and with them my mind. Fingers flicker and dance across the keys of mankind’s most arcane device. Thoughts, ideas, visions flash across my mind, patterns forming for just milliseconds. Then they explode through neural pathways, twisting and contorting muscles that touch keys across the tiny portion of the real world that is still required for man and machine to work in harmony. Then on again, electrical pulses once more, completing the journey from pattern in flesh to pattern in silicon.

  • Not Exactly Canon

    Joseph: “What’s if I was a real superhero?”

  • Levelling Up the Steam Rally

    Yesterday Joseph, my parents and I headed to “Steamed Up”, a steam rally out near Cole Hill in Dorset. Joseph was pretty keen on the bouncy castle and the tractors, while my mum was predictably getting into teaching Joseph how steam engines work. Me, I was mostly in it for the pub lunch. But still.

  • A Knot is Tied

    Just over seven years ago, after one potential student house deal fell through, I asked around the Games Society to see if anyone was in a similar situation. I met one girl who was strange and hyperactive and who was looking for other people to share a house with. She introduced me to a house and another potential housemate, and that housemate proceeded to introduce me to a nightclub, an entire musical genre, and another girl whom I immediately developed a crush on. Little did I know then that the house would come to define my time at university, and the people whom I turned to in desperation to find a house would become some of my best friends.

  • A Time to Panic

    Life passes slowly, when epic things lie ahead.

  • And So Into Summer

    Every year, when the days start to heat up, it feels like a liberation that some strange part of me worries might never come. But it’s here now, as inevitable as any season. May turns into June with barely a second thought. The wind swings around to the south, blowing hot from foreign lands. It rises, too, tickling the tops of trees but bringing no relief to those on the ground under the scorching sun.

  • A Flotsam Person

    Whilst walking the night-time streets of Guildford, Eric remarked to me that it was a place that felt permanent; a place where one could put down roots. My home, and now hers, stands in complete contrast. Bournemouth is a new town, founded two hundred years ago as a seaside resort – which it still is.

  • Promises Fallen by the Wayside

    Nearly six months ago, I sketched out some ideas for a site then called “healthi.ly”, since renamed to Daily Promise. In time I coded it up, made it public, and made the same commitment I have to other sites in the past – 20 active users gets it its own domain and investment of time and effort. Less than that, and it goes how it goes.

  • An Ending in Darkness

    I lie unmoving on the floor of Joseph’s bedroom, stretching my back into shape as I listen to the splattering of raindrops against his window. A cold north wind blows them on, a rare wind in these parts. So rare is this wind, and so sheltered is our flat from all other directions, that the sound of rain against glass seems alien for a moment.

  • The End of an Experiment

    A year and a half ago, off the back of a holiday that was largely caffeine-free, I decided to bite the bullet and ditch my high caffeine intake for a life of tea. Up until that point, I was getting through around four cups of instant coffee a day at work, and suffering for it on the weekends – I’d forget to keep my Saturday caffeine intake as high as my weekday intake, and by Saturday lunchtime the headaches would have set in. I frequently solved that problem with Red Bull, which in turn often left me feeling sick for the rest of the afternoon.

  • Johannes Kepler and the Fabric Mice

    Cover of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"Joseph has a book called “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” which intersperses the lyrics of the famous nursery rhyme with pages in which fabric mice contemplate their place in the universe.  One of the pages which particularly strikes a chord with me has a mouse looking up at the night sky and wondering “are there stars for us all up there, or do some folks have to share?”.  I’m not sure Joseph is as enthused as I am about the answer to that question – that not only is there a star for every human being (and mouse) on Earth, but that in just the observable portion of the universe we have about 10 galaxies each – a total of around 100 trillion stars for every single one of us. [Wikipedia]

  • Pictures from my Home Town

    It’s the end of a remarkably peaceful weekend. Mornings have been relaxed, afternoons fun, bedtimes trouble-free. A can’t remember a weekend where Joseph had fewer tantrums and I had less stress weighing me down. It’s half past ten on Sunday night and, for the first time in memory, I don’t find myself secretly relishing the prospect of peace and quiet at work tomorrow. For possibly the first time since I became a father, I really would rather be staying at home.

  • The Rise and Fall of LiveJournal

    Once upon a time, accounts on blogging site LiveJournal were precious commodities indeed – the site gave out invites for its members to use, but there was no public sign-up page. I got my invite in the autumn of 2003 thanks to sasahara (Account active 2003-2009) from the IRC channel that I frequented at the time.

  • New Year, Parent Style

    If there is one important lesson that Eric and I have learned this year, it is that the ‘Terrible Twos’ do not stop when a child reaches the age of three. If anything, Joseph has gotten worse – his age-two stubbornness and refusal to listen to reason remain, compounded now with a refusal to apologise for anything, and a bedtime stubbornness that sometimes means it takes hours to get him to sleep. Naturally, if he wakes up at any point during the night, he storms into our bed kicking and screaming, and shouts “I want daddy out!” if I should dare to remain sleeping in my own bed rather than moving to his.

  • A Day Snowbound

    The weather, like the best of muses, is capricious and arbitrary.

  • "Dreaming Awake": Time to Stop Pretending

    A little over ten years ago, my friends and I began a collaborative fiction project that we named “The Fanfic”, though it bore little resemblance to fanfiction as it is commonly known. Rather, it was something like a ‘fanfic’ of our own invented characters, thrown together in a neutral setting.

  • Waning Technological Desire

    What seems like a long time ago, I blogged about the unrelenting pace of technology and Internet-borne social interaction, and how much I loved it. But that was a February day with the promise of Spring in the near future. Now it is Autumn, and I am not altogether sure I feel the same way.

  • A Farewell to Marmablues

    May 1998, half a lifetime ago. It was my 13th birthday, and my parents – no doubt annoyed by four years of me messing with the family computer – bought me my own. It had a 333MHz processor, 32 glorious megabytes of RAM, and most exciting of all, a 56k dial-up modem.

  • The Atheist’s Sense of Wonder

    I’ve no idea why this thought should crop up now, but I recall being asked several times by religious folk why I would choose not to believe in a god. Often their question is something like “Why believe that everything you see around you was created by random chance, when it would be so much more wonderful to think that someone created it all just for us?”

  • Failure to Organise

    My parents were, if nothing else, organised at all times. I don’t recall at any point realising that they had no idea what was going on, or that they weren’t absolutely in charge of what we did. In contrast, Eric and I muddle through day-to-day, just about keeping it together – sometimes we forget to brush Joseph’s teeth, or can’t be bothered to wash up, or leave the laundry sitting in the washing machine for a bit too long.

  • Adrift in Time

    As Mark pointed out to me, it’s probably rather strange to pick for your Best Man someone who you’ve seen only three times in as many years. But although some small part of my brain insists that some time has passed since I left university, it’s easily overruled by the rest.

  • Cherry Blossom and Reminiscence

    Last night I ended up watching the last few episodes of an anime series called Cardcaptor Sakura, which by my reckoning is at least ten years since I watched it all the way through as a kid.

  • Calling All Soton Kiddies!

    My attendance at the latest RABIES event, and the ensuing “oh god I’m old” melancholy, have set me off really, really missing my own generation of Southampton geeks. And since Twitter seems generally in agreement, I propose: Some Sort of Event! (Fanfare please.)

  • RABIES, Six Years On

    Somehow, against all odds, a party we threw in June of 2005 to celebrate the graduation of Racheet and Andy turned into a regular yearly event. This, for spaffy self-indulgent reasons, is its history.

  • Keeping in Touch

    I guess it’s funny who you do and who you don’t stay in touch with. After all this time I’m still partying with people whose time at Uni didn’t even intersect with mine, but yet I see my best friends maybe once a year at most. And of the three people I spent my time at Uni developing crushes on? I haven’t spoken to two of them since 2006.

  • St George is Cross

    Tomorrow is St George’s Day, a day of… frankly nothing, in honour of England’s dubious patron saint. Whereas St Andrew’s Day is at least a holiday for the Scots, and the Irish St Patrick’s Day has been exported all over the world as a celebration of stout and silly hats, we’ve kept ours to ourselves, down-played it, almost as if we’re embarrassed by it.

  • Why is Che Guevara Cool?

    Here’s a question for the interwebs that the combined mental might of our car-pool couldn’t answer this afternoon: Why the heck is Che Guevara cool?

  • Momentary Reminiscence

    Four years ago, what dominated my mind most was that I was running out of time. The end of my time at University loomed large in front of me. I didn’t have a job to go to, my final year project was dead in the water and my relationship was painfully long-distance, but those weren’t the most weighty issues. I was troubled far more by the fact that three months from then, I’d be leaving the city that defined my transition from childhood to adulthood, losing that constant contact with friends that defines University life.

  • The Perils of Gas Supply

    So, I got home today to discover a nice polite letter put under our flat door. This enlightened us to the fact that representatives of the energy company E-on had tried to visit today “to discuss any problems [I] may have paying”, and that I should contact them as soon as possible, otherwise they would obtain a Warrant for Entry and return with Police and a locksmith if necessary.

  • Life Out of Rhythm

    With Joseph now spending a week and a half at his grandparents’ house, our lives are even more bereft of the enforced routine of being parents to a toddler. It’s not that I miss this routine – god knows, I hate routine more than most – but how strange it feels when it’s no longer present.

  • Unwholesomeness

    Maybe it’s a result of over-exposure to kids’ TV due to my own son, or possibly it’s due to the fact half the Blue Peter presenters of my generation spent their spare time with coke up their noses, but I can’t help but feel everything wholesome and good on television is secretly not.

  • Fighting the Winter

    Bournemouth Tundra

  • Farewell, Noughties

    Ten years ago today, I was sitting in the house of a friend’s grandparents, drinking champagne that I didn’t really like, and watching some celebrity or other count down the minutes and seconds to the year 2000. We stood on the cusp of the third millennium, wondering what the future would hold for us personally, and us as a society, as a species. I was 14 years of age, and I was putting up with second-best as my parents hadn’t let me go to the town centre to celebrate. As fireworks burst around us, the four of us formed a tiny drunken conga line in the street.

  • 2009 in Thoughts, Words and Pictures

    It is a very strange feeling indeed to increasingly shuffle towards adulthood whilst also having a young child of your own. Time twists and stretches, unsure of which way it ought to bend. There is the adult mind for which time is speeding up, one year blurring into the next until each is indistinguishable from the last, and then there is the child’s development pulling the other way, slowing things down, big changes happening in weeks instead of years.

  • Today’s Really Bad Plan (TM)

    Joseph has a bad effect on me. =S

  • Diesel and Autumn

    A cool breeze blows in through the crack where my door doesn’t quite shut properly, promising the Autumn ahead, but yet hanging on as long as it can to the sunshine. Now and again helicopter downdraft blows the door open and closed again, wafting in that thick, sweet, black smell of diesel.

  • Software Development: Experiment 1

    Yesterday Morning

  • Leveru Uppu!

    I am now, apparently, a level 4 Software Engineer!

  • Ripping and Streaming

    I’ve been on a tidying binge this evening, and having found a bunch of CDs lying around in cracked cases behind the sofa, I’ve decided to rip them. So that my poor long-suffering NAS drive doesn’t have to think about two things at once, I’m listening to streaming music from Last.fm while I’m at it.

  • World’s Rudest Toddler?

    We appear to have unintentionally produced the world’s rudest toddler. His favourite words at the moment seem to be:

  • OMGWTFNHS

    Okay, how hard can it be to get a doctor’s appointment?

  • Routine and Axiety

    The commonly accepted wisdom is that babies and toddlers need a set routine in order to thrive. As someone who quite passionately hated routine and stasis for most of his pre-fatherhood adult life, I wondered how I’d cope with doing the same thing, day in, day out.

  • Stuck in a Culinary Rut

    I know “cook” and “parent” isn’t a common combination in my corner of the lazyweb, but here goes anyway.

  • Now, Hyper Ninja Baking Soda!!

    Is it wrong that every time I see an advert featuring a woman in a burqa advertising something, I mentally replace her with the “Ask a Ninja” guy?

  • To Arid Pastures New

    In just over 12 hours’ time, I’ll be off for two weeks of joyous business trip to sunny Saudi Arabia. I’ve no idea what I’ll get by way of an internet connection out there, but I’ll try to pick up mail if I can.

  • Six Inches!

    Six inches of snow this morning! Settled! In March! In Bournemouth! That just… doesn’t happen.

  • Vaccination Complete!

    Vaccinations over and done with! I am now resistant to:

  • Thought for the Day: Watching Pots

    “A watched pot never boils.”

  • A False Sense of Difference

    Travelling alone, riding a cross-country train into the darkness of evening, enraptured by music and by story, I experience a strange feeling that something is different, something has fundamentally changed. Wrapped up in fantasies, I revel in what pathetic part of my wanderlust I am allowed to exorcise.

  • A Weird Combination

    In last night’s dream, courtesy of no alarm-clock wake-up this morning:

  • The City of Bath, and its DOS Prompt

    I had a very strange dream last night.

  • Old Before My Time

    The flat upstairs appear to have acquired Guitar Hero: World Tour – judjing by the songs that I can hear all too clearly from my living room and bedroom. I’m assuming their drummer plays on Easy, as once every two seconds or so, there’s an almighty thump that you can feel in the walls.

  • A Silly Day

    Today has been a silly day. I present: why roleplayers should not watch pre-school television shows. I will run this game one day, mark my words!

  • Neo Garlic!

  • Of Lamb, Pork, Duck, Gammon and Turkey

    This week has been a good one for food. Thanks to non-traditional (or at least not traditionally British) Christmas dinners, I’ve had five different meats over the last three days, if you’ll indulge my reference to pork loin and gammon as different things.

  • Sickness and Despatching of Toddlers

    Today’s the third day that Joseph’s spent off around the place without Eric or I, and for once I feel kind of guilty. The previous two days he was kind of a pain, but so far today he’s been soppy and cuddly, but I still have to give him away. Unfair! D= Still, I’m not exactly feeling great this morning, so going back to bed is a remarkably appealing idea.

  • Iron Man

    Clearly I work for an uncool defence contractor, or something. I wonder how you get into the cool side…

  • Anonymous are Everywhere

    Discovered this in the window of a phone box on the way home today.

  • Momentous Feats

    Today, I managed three momentous feats.

  • The Golden Compass

    Slowpoke I know, but I just got around to watching it. Is it just me, or was there supposed to be an ending there? You know, one where they don’t just go happily flying off into the sunset?

  • ITT we bitch about KDE4

    So, KDE4 eh? No offence to the programmers, they’ve certainly achieved something beyond my capabilities, but… So many irritations =S

  • A Christmas Message

    In an age so concentrated on consumerism and tacky plastic ornaments, I believe we should all take time today to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas.

  • Home for Christmas

    Fittingly, today, the fog and the frost never lifted over Dorset, or at least my bit of it. I headed into work half-heartedly, did nothing all day, and left at 2pm. Even though I’m only off for two weeks, leaving the place and disappearing off into the mist has an odd kind of finality about it.

  • Tonight…

    Tonight, Eric and I were going to go to the cinema, then to the pub. She decided she wasn’t keen after all, so…

  • Version 1.0

    Guess how many bugs are left in my code? None. That I know of, anyway. The last three and a half weeks have been quite insane but now, now, it is version 1.0.

  • Loneliness and Wanderlust

    From having four visitors, suddenly we are on our own. Eric is having a nap, Joseph is trying to sleep, it’s dark outside and the lights are down low… Though nothing fundamental has changed, I’m feeling lonely now. I can’t find the words for just how much I miss Southampton; how much I miss having everyone around all the time. Hell, right now I even miss Eric, though she’s only in the next room.

  • Thoroughly Weird

    So, last night’s dream involved:<ul><li>Staying in a hotel that looked like an old Oxbridge college</li><li>Steam trains passing about three feet from the window</li><li>Joseph screaming due to a bug in the code</li><li>Receiving a commendation from work for making something out of toilet rolls and sellotape</li><li>Claire, but aged about 14</li><li>Rhiannon with an over-the-top Westcountry accent.</li></ul>

  • Software Engineering LOL

    I’m not sure how other companies approach milestone releases. I get the impression from various bits of software that I use that the big open-source projects tend to have a series of alpha, beta and release candidate releases during the months leasing up to a release, complete with feature freezes, code freezes and all sorts of other measures to keep things under control.

  • Caffeine and Cash

    It’s almost relaxing to sit here on the train, watching the colours of autumnal Dorset slide past. I’m finding looking out of the window oddly compelling today, despite the fact that all that’s out there are sights that I see every day. Perhaps because it’s 10am, much later than my normal early-morning trip to work – trains just don’t run early on Sundays. Or perhaps it’s the ridiculous amount of coffee that I consumed whilst waiting for it, which unike the usual barely-caffeinated brown water seems today to have been ultra-strong. In fact I’m feeling quite high, which is an effect of caffeine I thought I’d left behind at about the age of 14.

  • Who needs a Music Collection?

    Since I got my eeePC, I’ve been experimenting with streaming music from the ‘net rather than from the hard disk of my desktop. I’ve come to the conclusion that my music collection has been somewhat surpassed by Last.fm.

  • Job-Hunting Appeals

    Warning: Epic Rant Ahead

  • Suspicious Fairy Activity

    Never have I been reminded more than I was today that fairies come in all shapes and sizes. Specifically, those responsible for the tangling of string, rope and miscellaneous cords whilst no-one is looking.

  • November

    It’s that time of year again, when the bright and cold mornings inspire in me the unfortunate desire to sit at train stations and write and – here’s the unfortunate bit – drink train station coffee. I appear to be making my way through about a litre of it at present, and thankfully it’s still in the “warm brown caffeine” stage rather than the eventual entropic state of “cold brown grit”. My problem, however, isn’t my choice of overly-expensive beverage but that I seem to be out of practice at writing. I’ve spent the last ten minutes staring at what currently exists of my story “The Lost Sky”, and have written nothing. It stands at a phenomenal 3 pages.</p> <p class=”western” style=”margin-bottom: 0cm;”>That, I suppose, is why I’m writing this instead – I’m trying to at least get the desire to write going again. Does anyone out there in blog-land have any good advice on how to get writing again? Working solutions to be paid for in hugs/beer! =p</p> <p class=”western” style=”margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal;”>Semi-related rant: The rail network should have WiFi. I don’t necessarily mean the trains – it’d be nice, but technically complicated and expensive. Just the stations would do, the same stations that already clearly have an internet connection so that they can update their live departure boards. I would pay for this, and I’d bet half the suits-with-laptops on this train would too. Does this exist somewhere, and Britain / South West Trains is just lagging behind? I can’t believe it’s so novel an idea that no-one in the rail companies has considered it.</p> <p class=”western” style=”margin-bottom: 0cm;”>(Side question that I doubt anyone knows the answer to: Do all stations with live departure boards have net access? I’ve noticed a lot of stations have TV-style aerials on long poles, pointing in roughly the direction of the next station on each side. Do they use this instead? If so, I can’t see them liking the idea or running a net connection over that just so I can blog from the arse end of Dorset…)

  • Halloween Costume?

    Right, Halloween party on Saturday and I have no idea what to go as. Here’s the suggestions so far:

  • Eternal Sonata

    News at Ten: Chopin knows spoilers for Dreaming Awake.

  • Loveless

    Cat-boy transfers to school.

  • Emo Update

    My apologies to anyone who read my crappy emo post last night. I’m clearly not treating either Eric or Joseph with the love they deserve, so I’ll have to try harder from now on!

  • Halo 3 Discountage

    If, by some massively unlikely feat of probability you want Halo 3 but haven’t already bought it, I’ve got me a £5 off voucher you might like. First come, first served!

  • ARGH

    Joseph’s constant screaming is making me feel sick now. I only get four hours a day to do things that aren’t sleeping, working, travelling or cooking, and I really wish he wouldn’t scream constantly for at least three of them…

  • Casserole

    I just had a rather graphic dream about butchering bunnies.  It’s not fair!  I completely missed the farmers’ market this month. =S  wants bunny

  • Science vs. Magic, Round 1

    Philosophy time! This is the first of possibly many posts I’ll make, to dump my thoughts onto the internet and see what people make of them.

  • Keyboard advice

    Eric has declared my keyboard “icky”, so I’m on the look-out for a replacement. (It also isn’t fond of capital letters some days, so it’s sadly not as if cleaning it would solve all the problems.)

  • The 5am Feed

    We got home from Guildford at 6pm yesterday after heavy traffic on the M3, only for Joseph to get very yellow and start wheezing. Thus, £12 of taxi later we pitched up at Poole Hospital. We had to stay there until almost midnight for them to do a few tests eve though they didn’t think anything was particularly wrong. Joseph fed nearly constantly from 9.30 until 11. Another £12 back home, and he was hungry again…

  • Leaving Them Behind

    Once again I have to leave the hospital at 9pm, letting Eric and Joseph sleep all-too-cutely together. It’s very difficult to leave them behind, when I desperately want to stay. It’s going to be even odder on Thursday, when I have to go to work and somehow pretend to be doing something useful rather than wishing I was back at the hospital.

  • Moving Hospitals

    Quick update – we’re transferring to Bournemouth hospital this afternoon. Unfortunately, due to an outbreak of something-or-other, we won’t be allowed visitors there. I’ll post if this changes, but at the moment it looks like 2-4 this afternoon in Poole is the last time anyone can visit us. Sorry!

  • Fatherhood

    I am now the father to Joseph John Renton, born 1.35am Monday 27th August 2007, weighing 7 lb 5 oz.

  • Gah! Mothers, who’d have them?

    I didn’t realise this before today, but apparently Eric needs to weigh 10 stone, and Social Services come to take away the babies of pagan parents. Also, knowing one’s limits and asking for help are frowned upon. And the mortgage advisor is “really sad that I’m not more pro-active”.

  • Cheap stuff!

    If anyone wants 5% off stuff from www.homeofpoi.com, they just sent us many money-off-code sticker things. Comment if you want one!

  • Sunshine and Biology

    There are clouds inland, but not here. This close to the coast, in the summer, they just seem to pass us by. And so, day after day the sun bakes the ground, and the wind is warm enough to be barely an interlude. Work isn’t too hard at the moment, despite having taken on responsibility for half the project’s software. (Now everything’s version controlled and such, it’s not too difficult!) Thus, I have the time to spend my lunch sitting on the wall of the harbour, listening to the screeching gulls, the screeching tourists, and the water lapping against the rocks below.

  • The End of an Endless Dream

    In my dream I was myself, mostly, although there was undeniably the nature of Oisin mac Cumhaill about me. I was so besotted with the ladies of one family that every generation I would return for a night, from fairyland to the human world, in order to spend a night with the youngest lady of the family.

  • The Time Approaches…

    That time’s approaching ever faster now. I’ve started thinking about it in terms of days rather than weeks or months, which just adds an extra bit of scariness to it.

  • Jumping on the Bandwaggle

    Fear my INFPishness!

  • Bournemouth Meet: Finality

    Thank you to everyone who turned up and made the Bournemouth Meet shiny and awesome, even though we didn’t manage to get much sunshine or barbecueing done! It was awesome to see you all again. Hopefully there’ll be another one again next year, and maybe it might actually feel like July then too!

  • Cleaning Frenzy!

    That… was a lot of cleaning! The flat is almost spotless now, ready for a dozen people to descend upon it this weekend! Whole rooms have been reorganised, it’s quite scary. There’s now even some sense of order in the kitchen! And my recipe books are accessible!

  • Bournemouth Meet Re-Announcement

    The Bournemouth Meet is only two days away! This is my final warning to anyone who wants to come and hasn’t signed up yet!

  • ZOMG

    They’re playing the Dragon Half ending on the Proms right now! </Cultural_heathen>

  • Hurrah for Dreams

    There were lots of us – over a dozen, at least – walking in the woods, when we chanced across a clearing where a lady was brushing leaves away in a big circle.  She told us not to step in the circle, so we didn’t, but we waited to see what she was doing.  It looked like she was clearing up after something, and when she’d finished she came to talk to us.  Eric and I told her about being expectant parents, and she gave us some kind of blessing, then we chatted some more and all went home together.

  • The Bug Folder

    More happy news from the exciting land of joy that is software engineering!

  • Bournemouth Meet Organisation Thread

    Attention Soton Kiddies
    and those generally close to Bournemouth!

  • Pregnancy and Pork

    Eric and I went swimming yesterday, and encountered another pregnant lady – cue half-hour impromptu womens’ meeting! I guess pregnancy is top of the list of “things that you can have in common with strangers that you can strike up conversations about”. Anyway, the end result of the meeting is that Eric now has detail for a antenatal fitness class, which might not be a bad idea.

  • A Week of Software Joy

    So, this week’s been fun. Tuesday and Wednesday were each 14-hour days of doomful preparation for customer visits, which didn’t go awesomely. And they’re back next week.

  • Headaches of Doom

    I´m off work today, since I´m now on my third day of headaches and rest-of-my-body aches as well. Paracetamol doesn’t seem to work very well, whilst Ibuprofen does, which is kind of odd. Still, since the latter did work, I’m now in that really odd-feeling position of being off work whilst not feeling all that ill.

  • It’s Been a While

    So, blog. As Claire reminded me, it’s been far too long since I’ve updated this. I’m going to try and stay up-to-date with it from now on, partly to rationalise my thoughts which are somewhat confused at the moment, and partly to see if writing LJ posts stimulates my brain to write actual stories.

  • Coordination Post #123470

    Attention Soton kiddies and associates!
    Taste Bath Planning Thread!

    Right, Taste Bath is in a week’s time, so here goes.

  • F4

    So, surfers can be separated from their boards by tachyon beams, eh? Man, the beach is gonna be fun this summer.

  • RABIES 3

    Southampton Students / Alumni

  • Tonight’s Dinner

    Tonight’s dinner:

  • Local Elections

    Tomorrow, I will be voting for this man. I am trying hard to pretend that his facial hair has not influenced my vote.

  • Seasonal Affectiveness

    Spring has come around once more, and almost by surprise has filled me with the same emotions that it always has. Sitting around in a t-shirt and shorts; walking home in the evening as the sun sinks low over the horizon, surrounded by a myriad of flowers; smiling and having fun. Worldly worries just seem so much less worth worrying about now that Spring is here and the long hot days of Summer are on their way.

  • Post-LRP

    Yay! Another great Maelstrom event. And now, another day of weirdness and finding it strange talking to people that are not part of the strange shared hallucination.

  • Hamster Dance

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  • Spoils of Minamicon

    Now, I will break your ears.

  • Minamicon

    Another year, another three days of anime faggotry alcoholism. And now, despite being thoroughly knackered, I have to go to work and pretend to be conscious.

  • Ian and Eric’s Incredible Beach Adventure!

    Spring is in the air, flowers are blooming; what better time than to begin organising a party in four months’ time? Here goes…

  • Old Men and Pubs

    Now that dream was… depressing.

  • Eclipse

    Wooo! Shiny shiny moon ^_^

  • Woo yay

    I just failed a credit check, god knows how. No new PC, and no Supreme Commander, for me =S

  • A Lovely Image

    Good morning! Here’s a happy image to stay with you for the rest of the day.

  • Attention all Fairies!

    Yes, this means you – Mark, Andy, Eric, Little Andy, Racheet, Domina, Gemma and Mike!

  • A New Challenger Comes!

    So, LiveJournal, you previously decided that Foxglove was the gayest-looking photo of me on the series of tubes.

  • Duuuude.

    I just had a dream in which I was Liu Bei from Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and was taking down jade war-striders using giant spear-lasers.

  • Housewarming

    Attention Soton Kiddies et al!

  • Moving House

    It’s finally reached that time. Despite the furniture in the car and the eight boxes of books in the garage, not to mention the three bin liners full of stuff for charities or throwing away, my room’s still so full I can’t get to the bed. God knows how I’m going to fit all of this into the flat, anyway.

  • Paradox of the Unseelie Dreamer

    So many dreams, so many… Like being crushed by them, but so beautiful… Redefining the world and redefining myself, endlessly… So cold, so dark… But must never lose this…

  • Dandelion Constellation

    Two of Witches
        Queen of Hearts
    a Dozen Friends
        Flowers-made-of-Stars

  • Seasons’ Change

    And so, with the first frost crinkling the grass and the heating turned up, the season of wishes became the season of dreams. At times, the world makes it perfectly clear that it is a whole six months from lilac season, and the frost crackles like the land itself is being crushed in an icy grip. Other times, the smell of fires and cooking and inside-in-Winter doesn’t make it all seem that bad after all.

  • Nostalgia

    Nostalgia, I reflected, was a strange thing indeed. There were a lot of things I missed about my old life, since I moved away. But I had thought it was only the people, and the things I did with those people. It seemed that I was wrong.

  • Halloween Party

    Hallowe’en was awesome. Thank you, everyone!!

  • Motherfucking Rants on a Motherfucking Livejournal!

    Rant time I’m afraid.

  • The Wedding

    The wedding was awesome in so many ways. The whole weekend was, in fact. But now I am ill =S

  • Phone Calls of Doom

    2.25 hours on phone + 1 hour past bedtime + no time for supper = cotton-wool brains

  • So, LJ…

    I have on my desk:

  • This Weekend

    UV-fluorescent body paint is awesome.

  • Beyond Good and Evil

    And so, with the beginnings of Autumn, another year begins to draw to a close. Today is the first of October – exactly a year since, worried by the future and by my rapidly-dwindling time at university, I made a wish.

  • New computer fun!

    Righty, with poor old Suzaku now on its last legs and my parents declaring it a fire hazard, I’m putting together a new machine to pass the time until the Great DirectX 10 Splurge.

  • Right At Your Door

    To: The director, scriptwriter and associated staff of the recently-released movie “Right at Your Door”

  • Post-LARP fever

    As always, post-LARP fever is getting to me. For three days I’ve dealt with matters of life and death in a place a thousand miles and a world away, and tomorrow… Tomorrow I have to get up at 6am, go to work and pretend none of it really happened.

  • Maelstrom Mode!

    The weather’s sunny, nights are well moon-lit, my bag is mostly packed, and the whole place smells of liquid latex. It must be Maelstrom time again!

  • Public Service Announcement

    Maelstrom Panic!

  • The Week in Monochrome

    September. Autumn. Another summer lost to history.

  • Writing Overdrive!!

    Thanks for everyone’s votes, it turns out that the results are overwhelmingly in favour of my starting writing now, with no votes to the contrary and only one for fish.

  • Bank Holidays

    Oh, commonly-held belief that bank holidays are a good time for DIY, how I hate thee!

  • Pseudo-poll!

    Righty everyone, audience participation time.

  • Sleep

    I really need to stop falling asleep on trains. Today I was woken up by the ‘doors closing’ beeps at the station I needed to get off at.

  • /dev/random > livejournal

    This week has gone approximately thus:

  • Last Night’s Dreams

    1)

  • An Imperfect Ending

    Well, today has been fun. Right up until the evening, anyway. Here goes the list of what’s happened:

  • I have done a bad thing

    Of course, I’m always doing bad things, but this one is particularly bad, in the “bad and wrong” sense.

  • Graduation

    A little late to post I know, but I graduated on Monday. It was an awesome day, and could only really have been improved by the theatre in which we had to sit, fully robed, for 90 minutes, having been air conditioned.

  • Away into the Night

    “Yes I call across the waves;

  • FAO Gamesoc

    Gamesoc people, attention!

  • Human Contact

    So, today has been weird.

  • More Fun With Dreams

    Didn’t wake up until midday today, in the cause of getting some more dreaming done.

  • Hair Cut

    Dear me, I’ve been productive today. I got not just one but TWO things done! Oh yes! I have both shaved, and had a haircut! Yay, go me! Stay tuned for the science bit:

  • Doom Doom Doom

    Just had one of the most disturbing of my recurring dreams again. Unfortunately I don’t feel comfortable saying what happened in it, because it’s about certain people I know, and it’s about a horrible future that I never want to happen.

  • Suspicion

    Did anyone else realise that we have an Under-Secretary of State by the name of Lord Adonis? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

  • World Cup

    No more World Cup for us!

  • Relocation

    So, here I am back in Bournemouth after all this time. No more living in Southampton for me, perhaps forever…

  • Midsummer Night’s Dream

    So, there was this Pagan convention thing in the middle of the lake district, then there was this treasure hunt thing where we had to run around collecting something-or-other except that I lost because I spent too much time eating cake, then prizes were given out to people and the prize-giving lady talked about faerie magic for a bit.

  • Dawn Again

    More and more, recently, I’ve been seeing dawn from the other side. 4am no longer seems a late time to go to bed; in fact it’s long since passed four and I’m not even tired.

  • Disembowelment

    There’s something oddly wonderful about tearing the flesh from the bones of Aeris and Tidus with a blunt knife to the background music of Manowar, before tossing the bits in boiling oil and then stewing them for two hours.

  • And So the Exodus Begins

    It’s beginning to happen already – the first of us, that group of who’ve been together for three years now, has already left university for the final time. Over the next two weeks, the rest of us will follow. No more shall we call this city our home.

  • A New Challenger Comes!

    I think you’re mostly in fair agreement that Foxglove is the gayest picture of me taken recently. (See my previous post if you’re confused.)

  • Quick Question

    Of three photos of me taken in the last week, which is the gayest?

  • Clockwork Winding Down

    Today was fun, pure and simple. No problems in life, no drama to contend with, no worries about the future, just fun from start to finish.

  • Sleep Patterns

    So, I made it back from Maelstrom. It was very definitely an awesome weekend. Unfortunately, the transition from Maelstrom sleep patterns (3am-8am) to crashing day sleep patterns (3am-noon) seems to have screwed me up completely. At 9pm today it still felt like lunch time, and now a two-hour phone call with Eric has scrambled my brain I’m feeling tired and ill.

  • Maelstrom-ho!

    Righty, having now packed and gotten everything ready, I’m off to Maelstrom – or am I?

  • RABIES 2 Confirmation Post

    Okay, the situation for the end-of-year party, a.k.a. RABIES 2, is now confirmed!

  • Completion

    Well, that’s it. I’ve finished University, all bar my graduation.

  • The Melancholy of Ian Renton

    Inamongst the hectic schedule of revision and post-exam events, there’s something I’d entirely forgotten about until now.

  • A Momentous Occasion

    Ladies and Gentlemen, today is a most rare occasion, one which I hope you will all in later years be proud to have experienced. Yes, for the first time in no less than eight months…

  • Exams, Drink, Exams…

    Wednesday exam, Nuclei & Particles, was a bit meh. A pretty easy paper, but I forgot a couple of important things which really isn’t going to help my marks.

  • John Keats vs. Standard Model

    “Ah, but is not truth, beauty; and beauty, truth?”

  • Dreams

    There needs to be a Pirates of the Carribean musical, and I need to star in it. Although, if it actually happens I’d appreciate a microphone.

  • Hmm…

    Just had a ten-second phone call from my better half, which went thus:

  • tsuki.socialStatus ;

    A few months ago, I commented that I’d officially lost my student status, by means of paying over £4 for a panini for lunch.

  • End of Year Party

    Since I’m being bugged about this already, here goes:

  • Illness Receeding

    Well, it seems I can actually think today without needing to lie down, and I also managed to eat breakfast and drink coffee! Bonus! Hopefully I should be properly well soon – due to all that coughing, I still sound like a horrible cross between Barry White and a toad…

  • Today is…

    Today is officially the day of RSS.

  • Update

    Good: Girlfriend’s parents discovered to be non-scary.

  • I have an Alternate Past on the Internet! (plus Cyberstalking fun)

    In equal measure crazy, creepy and awesome, I seem to have an alternate past, as seen by the internet.

  • Covenant

    Squee, Covenant! Despite a five-hour journey home that resulted in me smelling of bus engines and dealing with a stressed Domina, this evening was well worth it. Also I have spent too much money today. But still; squee, Covenant. And also a contested minor squee for the support bands, “Pride and Fall” and the other one whose intro we missed. Racheet and I agree on their unoriginality, but not on whether they are still good regardless.

  • Obligatory Birthday Post!

    I’m now 21 years old. Wheee!

  • Perfect Bloodbowl Weather.

    Dear me, it would appear to be summer. Right on cue.

  • Here Goes…

    As the sun rose, bright and warm, over the city of Southampton, so did I. This is my last day of lab work on the RoboFish project – a maximum of five hours remain for the project to get as close to completion as it will ever be.

  • Backwash

    So, the post-party drama has hit as it was always bound to. Beltane never ceases to be… interesting. Still, there remains little to be said that I haven’t already said to the relevant people (with one exception, to be dealt with tomorrow). Now a day has passed since the party, life feels sane again – and god knows I need life to be sane if I’m to make it through the next few days – but I’m no less optimistic than I was. The drama never ceases, of course (to the few of you to whom this makes sense, I believe we’re probably now on Chobits S) but still I believe things will turn out for the best.

  • The May Day Festival

    That… was awesome. My birthday parties just keep on getting shinier and shinier! Thank you to everyone who turned up, especially those of you who came in costume. Sooo happy! bounces

  • Rude Song Adaptation #3459201

    Have spent large portions of today singing the Maelstrom variant of “I used to work in Chicago” with Mark and Andy. There will be a group rendition of this and other choice dodgy songs tomorrow, if for no other reason than breaking Hugo as much as the Cucumber Song does.

  • Cosplay Hyper!

    Turns out interesting things happen when you ask people to turn up to a party in costume. The last week’s been almost week-before-convention levels of buildup, mostly cosplay-related.

  • Because all the Cool Kids are doing it

    OMFGLOLOMGWTFNHSWii

  • Work and Images

    No project work for me today – went into Uni, but none of the lab staff were there so I couldn’t even get into the lab. ;;_;; More delays for me.

  • Party Advert #7

  • Party Advert #6

  • An Apology

    My life is full of really rather doomful work at the moment, and my blog may have to suffer for a while. Sorry!

  • Post-LARP Blues

    The post-LARP crash continues this morning, and as usual after the contents of my weekend real life seems meaningless and uninteresting by comparison. Still, I guess I have to concentrate on real-life things for a while. I’m hungry and have no food, and I have tons of work to do in the next few weeks, and Eric is apparently arriving tomorrow.

  • Party Advert #5

  • Website Updates

    This evening I spent n hours (where n is too many) redesigning my site a bit due to an idea I had earlier in the day. Behold its shiny shiny glory!

  • So, Today…

    Today, I have been in the lab about as much as physically possible.

  • Party Advert #4

  • Party Advert #3

  • And, with the rain…

    And, with the rain, my motivation to do anything – particularly things involving carrying large planks of wood around town and cutting them up – disappeared. Another day of no practical work, so I’ll have to make up for it with some slaving over LaTeX…

  • Party Advert #2

  • Party Advert #1

  • UniversalTruth Discovered in Sentai Show

    Up until now, I would have described sentai shows as being a bit weird, not really my thing.

  • Behold a New Era of Gay!

    For the attention of Racheet, Rhiannon and others with similar taste:

  • A Few Discoveries Today

    1) It’s really, definitely Spring now! I was down to a t-shirt while wandering around today and was still warm; the trees are starting to blossom; and I saw two different kinds of butterfly on the way into Uni, too.

  • The Crescendo of Change Realised

    It’s been so long, you know, since I first came here. Back then, I was so unsure of myself, and so – in a way – scared of those around me. I think, back then, innocence was the one thing in the world I prized the most. So much so that it was something I strived to keep as much as possible, and so much so that my easily-breakable nature that appeared as a by-product created a hobby for my friends.

  • Latest in the Series

    MAG302: Derived Magical Practice

  • Birthday Celebrations Announced!

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce the imminence of the most fantastic and wonderous event of the year*, to be held here in the city of Southampton on 1st May.

  • Life

    I have long suspected that real life is, in fact, an anime.

  • Coat Envy Strikes Back

    I have coat envy again. Damnit.

  • The Meaning of "Holiday", Now

    Once upon a time, a long time ago, there stood children where now there stand adults. For them, holidays were wonderous times when there was no school, no work to do, just day after day of seeing all our friends and having fun. They were always together, always with each other.

  • Cons and Spring

    As with all major and wonderful events, I can’t really write up this year’s Minamicon in a way that does it justice, so I shan’t really bother. Suffice to say it was as awesome as always and as full of drama as always. Unusually this time: I went to the sake tasting, I didn’t go into the games room, I got a free lift to and from the hotel every day (thanks Alex!). I now have shiny posters and shiny plushies. All is good.

  • Reciept for a Beginning of a Dream

    And there was me thinking that the fairy dust she sprinkled over me would bring me dreams while I slept. No, I was woken up and had no memory of dreams. But half an hour later, a fragment of another kind of dream arrived in the post.

  • More Squee, of a Shallower Kind

    https://web.archive.org/web/20081201065820/http://akaitsuki.net:80/index.html

  • Squee!

    Well, here goes… For the second couple in a week:

  • Dreams, huh?

    If this year’s Maelstrom events are anything like as cool as the last three hours’ worth of dream I just had, I will be a very happy man indeed.

  • Late for Lectures

    Somewhat worryingly, whether I wake up in time for lectures is now outside my coscious control. I have now, apparently, re-mastered the ability to disable my alarm clock in my sleep.

  • Coat Envy

    The costume shop down the road has the MOST AWESOME FROCK COAT EVER in the window… It’s my size and everything, and it’s really well-lined and comfy and it’s purple and black with frilly bits on the cuffs and everything and ohhhh, how I want it…

  • Flying Higher than the Stars

    Never has a weekend been shinier than that. So much happiness in such a short space of time…

  • Spoils of Weekends

    Right, I’m off to see my mum for her birthday. I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon for the other two birthdays this weekend!

  • Films and Presentations

    Yesterday was fun! ^_^ Got taught how to play Battlefleet Gothic at Gamesoc, and it seems I’ve been roped into an ongoing campaign… Should be good! I’m probably going to get horribly owned, though… =S

  • Fucksocks.

    Atomic Physics: 56%

  • Sleep Cycle

    Okay, my sleep cycle is now almost amusingly screwed. I’m just about having time to do the work I need to do, although I have presentation doom in a week’s time, but I’m just not getting up in time for any of my lectures… I really need to get properly into motivated mode, even if it means going to bed before midnight most days.

  • Closing of the Moment

    The rain-tainted sky darkens slowly over the city, and friends depart; two by two, one by one. Like all of my life these days, the last week has blurred out into a past I can barely remember already.

  • Multiple Ranting I’m Afraid

    My apologies for this, feel free not to read it.

  • More Catching Up

    Yet again, over a week with no blog posting. I’m not sure why, I just don’t really feel the desire to write here so often anymore. Probably just a phase I’m going through though… =S

  • Busy-ness

    Exams were a bit evil.

  • Of Tiredness

    I am, as my mother would no doubt delight in informing me, over-tired. It’s a most strange feeling… I don’t feel tired, but my brain is suggesting all the wrong feelings and emotions for every situation, and it’s dominated by the idea that everything will be okay in the morning…

  • Just a Thought

    I wonder how long it’s been since I last saw a sunrise…?

  • Something Like an Update

    It’s been a while since I’ve posted here – looks like exams and other concerns really have stolen all my free time. So, here’s what’s going on at the moment.

  • Morning from the Other Side

    This is the first time in a long time that I’ve seen morning from the just-got-up rather than the not-gone-to-bed-yet side. It’s a strangely wonderful feeling, as though I actually had forgotten what the sights, sounds and smells of morning are. I guess, though, over the next week, I’ll have a lot of practice at seeing this part of the day.

  • Ouch

    Headache OF THE YEAR desu~.

  • Once More the Melancholy Music Plays (Harmony)

    Once more, let the melancholy music play;
    Once more, once more…
    Once more, we return and here we stay;
    Once more, once more…
    Once more, long past the fading of the day;
    Once more, once more…

  • Forward Once More (Melody)

    Rucksack packed full of clothes, books and papers in the two satchels slung one over each shoulder, water bottle in its pouch and umbrella in its belt scabbard. Sleeping bag tied on, rolled up tent tied on, frying pan tied on. Music playing, alarm set, door locked. It’s time to go; time for the next part of the adventure to begin.

  • The Mixed Blessings of Worlds Away from Home

    Whisky should perhaps not be regarded as a good substitute for sleep.

  • Once More With Doom-like Feeling

    Meh, and there was me thinking for a while that I was fixed again. The last few days have been fun, they really have. And then tonight, humans started to annoy me again. And then Little Andy started to annoy me. Deliberately. And pushed me all the way.

  • Gah! Damn Humans

    It would be a lie if I were to say that I was in control. I guess, really, I never have been. Not three years ago, not a year ago, and not now either. I’ve finally realised what I’ve been mising over these past two weeks, a major factor in the confusion that abounds. My emotional control. I don’t have any.

  • Resolutions, Separations, Reawakenings and Complications

    And so the confusion carries on. Barely a few hours after my Monday afternoon crash, yet another situation reared its head and has begun to be dealt with. I didn’t get to sleep until 6am that night, and didn’t wake up until 3pm the following day, missing all my lectures once more. Once more that night my room entertained a guest, or maybe more than one… After all, I did say he could visit, and that applies to both the human and the other. And I got to see the blossoming of a Mage Ego, those things that I bemoan so much… =p

  • Crashing

    This weekend has… No, this past week and a half has been… intense. I’ve done new things and had new emotions and there have been hearts broken and healed and slipping deeper into deliria. The world has broken and reformed over and over again, reconfiguring itself to flood our world with emotion and feeling, for better or for worse. There are still troubles – there always were and will always be; and there are still joys – there always were and will always be.

  • It’s not over

    Pieces of paper, roughly cut from an all but worthless book, spiral to the floor as the force of the knife ejects them from what once was their home.

  • Luck of the Roll

    I love dice-luck sometimes. I’ve barely ever had a good roll in Zane’s game, and now tonight… I roll seven 10-sided dice.

  • Simplicity and Colour

    Today, I talked about some things with people, and realised some things that I should have realised all along. Life isn’t confusing anymore, it’s not messed up and I’m sane again. The world is simple now; it makes sense.

  • Feelings, fleeting…

    My life fell apart. Again. Worse this time.

  • Well, that was… an… interesting… weekend…

    To think, at noon on Friday I was just sitting down to a Crystalline Solids lecture, confident that my work was going well and that there’d be a fun afternoon ahead.

  • Today’s Conclusion

    And now, if I may, I will sleep. Given the circumstances it would be somewhat shallow of me to wish to bestow “sweet” dreams upon us all, so I’ll make do with “appropriate” ones instead.

  • Ups and Downs

    Today went mostly from okay to cool to awesome to ARGH MY BRAIN HURTS.

  • Detachment

    Recently, I’ve been feeling awfully… separated, detached from reality. It feels as though when I talk to people I’m not talking to them properly, and when I do things they don’t properly happen. It could be as though the world is just ever so slightly tinged with a kind of unfriendly distance. The only thing recently that’s felt properly real was last night’s singing and dancing and cosplaying which, when I think about it, was pretty much a side-track from reality anyway.

  • The Rise and Fall of Caliphracti

    That was a weird dream. A weird sequence of dreams, in fact. No less than five tiems did I wake up and go back to sleep, and in each period of sleep the dream continued from where it left off. I pretty much slept through my two lectures this morning just to see where the dream would go.

  • The Dances and Songs of the Faerie Children

    Today has been… Well, fantastic in a very strange way.

  • In Search of Adventure: Alma Road Attic Exploration, Mission One

    In Tom’s room upstairs, there’s a cross between a cupboard and a door. It’s padlocked. In the bathroom ceiling, there’s a hatch. It’s sealed shut. In the living room ceiling there’s a hatch.

  • Over the Sky

    I’m glad, so very glad, that times like this exist. Should I ever forget how wonderful my friends are and what a fantastic time I’m capable of having, all I need to do is remember days like today.

  • Pushing Through Deliria

    Lesson One. Do not go to bed with the beginnings of a headache.

  • The First Premonitions of Transcendence

    I’ve just arrived home after running the third session of my Dreaming Awake tabletop game. And holy haddock, it just got really awesome. The players are finally beginning on the road to realising how the world works and what their place is in it – starting to accept that they can and do change the world.

  • Mirror Worlds

    Last night, after one of the most fun parties I’ve ever been to, I was asleep almost as soon as my head touched the pillow. I slept, and dreamed… Dreamed of the party. Slighty different, of course – we talked about different things, but it was still most certainly that party. It left me, upon waking, with the exact same feeling I’d had after the party itself – a wonderful sense of rightness, and comfort, and stability.

  • The Interwebs Fail Me

    Fed up with PlusNet’s dire service and stealth data caps, we today switched to another ADSL provider… Freedom2Surf.

  • Self and Stability

    I am calm, I am happy. I am being myself and having fun. I am not worrying about things.

  • Rewriting the Personality

    I think I have at last come to a realisation that I should have had long ago.

  • Tension Point

    It’s 4am. I’m shivery and cold, and I have to be up in five hours – early Saturday morning – to deal with other people’s problems. I mostly don’t mind this – after all, if it’s helping other people on the way to happiness then in the long run it’ll make me happy too.

  • Heart-Crushing Boredom

    Today’s been great, up until now… Non-stop interaction with people since the moment I got up, a great game session and generally lots of having fun. And now it’s the evening. No-one’s around, wanting to do anything. Everyone’s too busy with work or things that don’t concern me. And so, I’m just sitting around on the ‘net hoping something fun might happen.

  • Happy…

    Happy Hallowe’en / Samhain / Overly Americanised Autumn Festival to you all!

  • Fire on Campus

    The fire that destroyed Mountbatten Building on Southampton University campus made the front page of Slashdot. I’m impressed!

  • Roll d20 for Next Emotion

    Sometimes I almost get to the point of resenting my blog’s existence, and today is one of those days. It’s going to be impossible for me to describe everything that’s happened in the past few days well enough to do the tirade of emotions justice. What’s more, LiveJournal has a “mood” box for each entry which is not by any means long enough to cover the intended content – which would be, in something approximating chronological order:

  • Painful Decisions

    (Yes, I’m afraid this is about the same situation as all my protected entries are these days…)

  • Acceleration

    Another problem sheet more-or-less done and handed in on time. Not long left now, not many things to do, before the weekend. The weekend will be awesome, I think. So why do I feel nervous…?

  • Error – Subject Not Found

    New story fragment “The Job Interview”: /fiction/the-job-interview (Comments welcome as always)

  • Thoughts of the Unconfident

    I wonder if, perhaps, I’m being over-friendly, that she’s gone from whatever she thought about me before to finding me annoying or even creepy…?

  • The Campus in Autumn

    Years ago – four years, in fact, it seems a strangely long time – I had a feeling of what University life might be like. Warm and comfortable, studying books or taking notes, while outside rain fell and cold winds blew leaves from the trees.

  • Physics and Piracy

    Today, I tried to get my Light and Matter problem sheet done. It went pretty well, and I got quite a bit of work done. Then I took a break for coffee and chocolate, and Mark’s family came over, and we watched anime and had take-away delivered and played silly board games and… all hope of working was lost.

  • Rainbows after the Rain

    As we headed into the city centre, the morning’s wind-whipped sunshine turned quickly into a shower and then into rain. It fell in sheets as we sheltered under the awning of a shopping arcade, and dripped around and through my umbrella as we dashed quickly from one shop to another.

  • Ubuntu

    That’s it, I’ve had it with Ubuntu. Damn “user-friendly” junk, it seems to develop problems if you’re using anything except a generic GNOME environment and no -extras/-backports, and I rarely get replies to forum posts. Back to Gentoo for me…

  • Joyful Illness

    Feeling a bit shivery, stomach doesn’t feel great, I have a sore throat and am feeling a bit dizzy.

  • A Feeling I’m Not Used To

    There’s a feeling, or perhaps it’s more like a lack of a certain feeling. Everything in life seems lighter, happier, more easily dealt with. I think, for the very first time in a long time, I’m not angsting.

  • Something Like an Explanation

    Okay, here goes a fairly major update.

  • Racheet Psychology 101

    Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a happy post. I’m not sure quite what it is – it’s both angsty, and angry. At least, as close as I can still get to anger. When I first started writing I was very pissed off, and by the end was in tears.

  • October

    Once more, yesterday, the world attempted to rekindle another piece of summer. Once more, today, haze fills the sky and chokes the city. I used to go through life longing for the return of summer, but I don’t think I’ll do that anymore. The next summer will be my last here – and I hate that. Maybe it’s irrational to want to stay with my friends forever, but can’t help it – that’s what I feel; and that’s what makes me, deep down, loathe the coming summer. But I can’t let it show. I have to enjoy this little time we have left to the best of my ability. I have to live 100% of myself, each and every passing day…

  • Shiny, Shiny, Angsty

    First up today: even though the prospective Slimelight trip has ben cancelled, I still went shopping for cool things. I now have a full-length coat with very shiny clips and buckles and things on it! ^_^ (Much thanks to everyone for telling me what actually looks good on me and what doesn’t, since I’m so hopeless…)

  • Requiem for a Bunfight

    That’s it then. In such a short amount of time, it was over. The hyped-up state of caffeine and alcohol and sugar and stress and adrenaline has faded, and it dawns on me that I will never again help to organise a bunfight. Still, it was a success. So much of a success. Page after page of new members signing up, flier after flier in their hundreds disappearing into freshers’ hands… (To quote a character from Comic Party Revolution and presumably by extension 2chan, “member get”.)

  • Fumiu~! Hyper Panic!

    Preparations for the Bunfight ticked along today, getting some things out of the way and giving us confidence. But in seven hours’ time, the real preparation will start. Two hours of setting up followed by six hours of event and an hour of cleaning up… Six hours in which there will be up to a thousand students in the hall at any one time. Nine hours in which we can’t sit down and, through caffeine or alcohol or sugar or hitting each other with LARP weapons or any combination of the four, we have to be happy and enthusiastic and well-coordinated and in control.

  • Too Much Money

    Today, I spent too much money. However, I now have four new mangas, a Suikoden 4 toy, a belly full of Pizza Hut, and a mind full of really, really silly things. Life here is officially beyond fantastic.

  • Worrying

    I just stumbled upon the phrase “Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn.”

  • Tonight…

    Tonight, I will be mostly eating… Instant ramen. </jesse> I put this down to, uh, post-modernist irony? Something like that, anyway…

  • A Wish

    I’m here. I’m back. I’m home. So much to do, so much to say…

  • Gravity

    Already I’m feeling the irresistable pull… Tomorrow, I’m going home. I’m going to see friends again, and life will be full again after too many empty nine-‘til-fives, Mondays-to-Fridays. Each IM conversation, each ‘phone call, each text message, they all bring me closer.

  • As Above, So Below

    The skies overhead are steel-grey and uniform, an almost perfect mirror to their concrete and tarmac cousins on the ground. Even the wind, blowing around me and through me and filling my lungs like ice, feels sleeting and grey. Car headlights, always on in the evenings now, reflect from puddles on the road and complete the symmetry.

  • On the Genealogy of Videogames

    Yet another day of high-velocity panic. Unit 01 is falling to pieces more and more rapidly, and it’s supposed to be delivered on Thursday… (People making Evangelion references will be shot. And posthumously applauded.)

  • So Yesterday,

    I learnt two important things yesterday.

  • Sunshine and Mown Grass

    So today, it finally decided to be sunny again. My mission for today: Do something, anything, other than moping around the house. Mission successful!

  • The Previous Post

    I apologise for the previous post. Leaving me with nothing to do at the moment is a bad idea, I seem to be getting depressed when I’m bored… Sorry!

  • Grey Skies of Forever

    The wind blows coldly from grey horizon to grey horizon, and the neverending threat of rain looms over the sky. The kind of weather, the kind of day that saps the spirits and clenches its tight and dreary grasp around our hearts. Summer is over, autumn has come with its windswept brown leaves and long dark nights. It feels as if all the hope has been washed out of the world, as if the only hope left is in those fragile hearts and minds that even now the season intensifies its grip on.

  • Laughing in Public is Good for You

    Two moments of public lollage today, much to my embarassment.

  • Products of a Wasted Day

    Programs written: 2

  • Whoops

    I just uttered the words “you know, this would be a lot easier in C.” I feel dirty now.

  • The Waiting is the Most Painful Bit

    Another week of work done, and only two more to go. Still, two weeks is long enough. There’s really nothing I want more in the world than to be back in Southampton soon…

  • pg brain > /dev/intarweb

    More DARPG stuff dumped from my brain onto paper – and thus also on the web.

  • I Did Something Useful Today

    I did something useful today. Not work, you realise, because there’s precious little of that to do. Instead, in readiness for the Dreaming Awake game this year, I present: Part One of the rules!

  • Wasting Away Days

    I continue to be bored. I continue to spend most of my days filling in forms. I continue to smile involuntarily whenever my colleagues refer to the computer I’m working on as “Unit 01”, and they continue to not know why.

  • Fire and Faith

    As the majority of readers aren’t interested in in-character stuff, I’ll avoid a full report of the weekend. Also I’m just starting to crash, so I can’t be bothered with writing a lot. (At least crashing now will mean I can go to work fully out-of-character tomorrow, which is probably a good thing.)

  • Something Like a Day at Work

    Pretty much everyone on my project was out at a meeting today, leaving me with pretty much nothing to do. So… I wrote. I feel a bit guilty for having been paid about £50 for my work today, which mostly consisted of about 3000 words of fiction. Still, beats playing Minesweeper.

  • Topicality

    The number of my friends who have had work published grows once again, and I’m getting left behind! Looks like I need to excavate some talent from wherever deep in my mind such a thing might hopefully lurk.

  • Saturation Point

    Today, I am full of thoughts and chemicals. I drink more coffee than is probably good for me, I know that much, but today caffeine and stuffiness and humidity and people and work and, well, everything, just seemed to crush me under their weight. I had to stop work and go for a walk earlier on. I feel a bit ashamed that I can’t keep up working even for just one eight-hour day without getting fed up, but then I guess the Health and Safety people would tell me that I should be taking breaks like that anyway.

  • Have Another Story

    Started work on Friday, finally – I think – finished it today. Thanks to Claire for suggesting improvements!

  • Emotions Hidden in Twilight

    I understand less and less about the way she feels with every passing hour, despite people’s best efforts. Right now, I’d settle for knowing how I feel, let alone her.

  • Of Azure Skies and Golden Wings

    And so, at the end of a painful week, Friday passed in an instant, no more substantial than anything that I experience in that soulless and dreamless weekday world.

  • From Dawn ’til Dusk

    I left home before dawn today, and now the sun is setting over the horizon as I return thirteen hours later. It’s been a long day, no doubt, but a successful one. The conference was a fantastic success, and I learned a lot – including about a plan for creating a single national (or international) database for neuroscience data. I’m not sure if it’s going to be possible for someone like me, but I’m going to try and get at lest slightly involved with it. It sounds pretty exciting, and the technical details that need sorting out are exactly the kind of things I’m good at – data formats, metadata, data security, stuff like that.

  • Three Days Remain

    For some reason, the facts that it is not Friday and that I am not currently in Southampton are verging on painful. Damnit – hurry up, weekend!

  • Dislocation

    It’s dark now, when I get up, and it doesn’t feel like morning at all. The feeling was even stronger today, though – it feels almost as if my mind and body are somehow separated. I don’t feel that I’m hearing all the sounds that I should hear, nor seeing all the things that I should see, and when I try to move it’s as if there’s some delay between thinking about it and it actually happening. I can probably put it down to having a cold and only having had about four hours’ sleep last night. But regardless of how I feel now, I wouldn’t have missed that phone call – the reason for my lateness in getting to bed – for anything.

  • Waiting for the HSBC Lynching Squad

    So, currently… I’m on my overdraft limit, I owe my parents £40 and there’s already £60 on my credit card. I have two weeks, including – hopefully – a trip to Southampton, in which I can spend precisely nothing. Not a very fun situation to be in. My wallet contains twenty-four pence, not even enough to buy breakfast a work…

  • Gotta’ Love My Parents’ House

    My ping just topped five and a half seconds. It’s like torture, but not as interesting… I’m sure Satan is preparing a special hell for me, where there’s nothing but pay-per-minute 56k dialup for eternity.

  • This Week’s Challenge

    Recently, since I’ve been staying at my parents’ house, I’ve been walking near a lot of the places I used to go as a child, and the close encounters have been sparking a lot of memories in my mind. Therefore, my mission for this week (or even this summer/early autumn as a whole) is to get as many of my childhood memories down on paper as possible. On Saturday, hopefully, I’ll grab my mum’s camera and go and visit the places properly, to find out what’s become of them now I’ve – dare I say it – grown up.

  • Welcome to Dramaville, Population 19

    Ah, the end of another Bournemouth Meet. A successful one, if my standards are anything to go by (which of course they really aren’t).

  • Another Passing Day

    I guess I was kind of caught off guard by the amount of sympathy I’ve recieved since that last post ^_^; I guess I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it helped a bit, so thank you everyone!

  • This Body Annoys Me

    Apologies if I keep this brief, sitting in a chair feels most undesirable at the moment.

  • I’ll Call That a Success

    So, today was… fun. Not quite what I was expecting when I made the morning odyssey to work…

  • A Slow and Subtle Daydream

    For a while I’ve had a strange thing with my hearing, as if I listen kind of subconsciously. Sounds slip into my mind without me noticing – I guess that’s why I often ask people to repeat themselves a fraction of a second before realising that I knew what was said after all.

  • A Waking Dream, or Otherwise

    Last night was… a little weird. I had a dream – a very long and, I think, important one. Then I dreamed that I woke up, wrote it all down, and went back to bed. There was another dream after that; which was about Lime, Elise, Stel and I in a Spanish seaside bar buying drinks with 5p coins.

  • Smiling, Crying and Dreaming

    A warning – each paragraph gets steadily geekier and more obscure than the last! =p

  • Raining Again

    It just doesn’t get any better, does it?

  • Signal to Noise Ratio

    The overcast skies scatter the light, dampening out the scenery into shades of grey. The rushed half-hour walk to catch a cancelled train fills my mind with fuzzy interference. And on the train I eventually caught, the noise of wheels on tracks, the noise of the electronic announcements, the noise of shouting children and mumbling old men… They all blend together into a maelstrom of noise, blocking out the signal of thoughts from my head.

  • When Someone Else’s Sofa Starts to Feel like Home

    …Well, not quite. It still feels like I’m imposing, sleeping on their sofa, but at least it’s Southampton – that’s a start.

  • Sights and Sounds

    The sounds of this place, for some quite inexplicable reason, are reassuring. The dull, rubbery click that my shoes – polished, black shoes, my old school shoes – make as they lightly touch the paving slabs, and the rustle they make as they push down yellow-dry grass…

  • Dreams Die and are Reborn

    The guards at the gate smile happily, but it’s transparent and forced, as if they smile just because they have guns and they know that people with guns who aren’t smiling are scary. Once inside, I clutch protectively the little card that hangs around my neck – the only proof that despite my utterly generic appearance I do in fact have a name. And a number, that’s emblazoned on my security pass as well. I’m number 11092426, as if there’s 11092425 people out there that I’m supposed to look up to.

  • It’s Been Three Years

    It’s been three years since the summer that made this song mean something to me… Three years since that summer I used to refuse to talk about, since that summer that either broke me or fixed me.

  • Backwash

    Try as I might to live here and call this place home, it’s not. Southampton is home.

  • Nerja 2005

    I decided to do this all as one entry rather than about 15 separate ones for the sake of everyone’s sanity… =p Here it is anyway, for those who’re interested: My two weeks of drama in the sun.

  • Heatwave

    The weather today is insane. It’s gone midnight, my windows are open, and I’m sitting at my computer – wearing shorts, drinking water constantly and sweating from every pore of my body. God only knows how I’m going to survive Spain…

  • Packing my Life into Colourful Plastic Boxes

    So, today I’m packing up my stuff… Everything that I don’t physically need for the next week. Well, I say “physically need”, but that list does include my computer. ^_^; Anyway, it feels really odd – no matter how many times I’ve moved over the last few years, I still don’t really get used to this.

  • Odd Mental State

    I have now been up for over 24 hours, of which I’ve spent about 23 of them in the company of one individual. My brain is melting. I decided to go for a swim with Mark, but it only cleared my mind while I was there… Now I’m back to the hayfevery sauna of the rest of the world, I have a headache and sore eyes again.

  • The Closing Moments

    It’s perhaps a bit odd that the thing that makes me realise how little time I’ve got left here is a BitTorrent client, but nevertheless that’s the case. One of my torrents is estimated to take a further 8 days to complete – whereas once I’d have dismissed that as “it’ll finish eventually” and just waited until it did, now… Now I don’t have eight days. That torrent will never finish.

  • The Dawn Chorus at the End of the Dream

    You know, at times like this I could almost be convinced that the sunrise looks even more beautiful in a city. On the other hand, maybe it’s just that the air is tinged golden with a sense of happiness and freedom. During these few slow days, so much tension and stress is being released all around us…

  • An Alternative to Revision

    About 8 this evening, we debated what to have for dinner. It was decided that there should be roast potatoes… a while later, chicken was theorised… then a bunch of other vegetables…

  • Kentucky Fried Brain

    Twelve hours with no time on my own has, I think, fried my brain. I passed through the stage where it’d mounted up so much that everything in the world felt like an irritation; and now, I think, there’s nothing for it but to sleep with the hope of tomorrow’s revision in sight.

  • An Exercise in Triviality

    Exams so far:

  • Waltz of Mist and Raindrops

    So, there were plans today. Shopping, Shakeaway, going to see Sin City. In the end, it was just Mark and I who left the house to head into town under steel-grey skies.

  • Recovery Complete! (I hope)

    Well, it looks like I’m back to being my normal Ian/Tsuki thingy again. That’s a good thing, I guess, although it does seem to mean I get hungry more and do less housework. Ah well. Maybe, just hopefully, I’ll now be able to revise for my exam in 36 hours’ time. I’m confident, though, it’s a ridiculously easy subject. Only problem is, there’s an essay question on which we don’t get a choice of subject. I’m not looking forward to the exam, I bet the essay will be on lasers, or aberrations, the two subjects I don’t really know all that well…

  • Recovery Almost Complete

    Over two days since the end of the game, and I think ‘m just about recovered. Maybe. I’ve just got to try not to think about it, for the duration of the exams at least.

  • Like Broken Shards

    A game finished last night, but more than that, a story finished last night. The story of characters that I love dearly, characters that have taught me new things, characters I’ve laughed and cried with for so long.

  • Grasping Perfection Once Again

    On nights like that when everyone is there, nights that fill me with the joy of having so many friends, nights that seem perfect, I’m almost lost for words… Despite it being a leaving party, it’s not as if we’ll lose touch; so I feel it was okay to revel in the joyous emotion of the evening.

  • Endings and Beginnings under the Hot Summer Sun

    They reckon it’ll hit 28 degrees C today. Summer’s truly here, at last, and I don’t feel that it’s possible for me to be unhappy anymore. Many things begin and end at these times, when it feels like the sun’s heat ignites my wings with light. Despite the endings, we’ve got no choice but to go out on a high note, and that’s the way things always should be.

  • Four Minute Warning

    I felt compelled to write something, as I often do at 3am when it’s beginning to get light outside and I really should be sleeping instead. But I wrote anyway. It’s not long enough to constitute a real story, but if you’re interested please take a look anyway. Please bear in mind this hasn’t been edited, and I’m not exactly at my best at 3am…

  • Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

    Ho-hum. Yes. Well.

  • Strangeness in the Morning

    I only had four hours’ sleep, but I feel fine. And, although I have exams in a week and an addictive MMORPG to play, I’m bored.

  • Extremely Immature Fun

    The powers of my garden are infecting me (very in-jokey). Behold, probably not the originally intended use for sloganiser.net’s services, but definitely the most immature.

  • Business

    As in, the act of being busy. Dear gods am I busy. And I haven’t even started revising yet…

  • Uneasiness

    Somehow, this place feels uneasy at the moment… Like we’re all a bit on edge. And I don’t know why.

  • Like Tears In Rain

    I’m not sure why, but today… as rain drizzles to the ground outside, and the house feels cold and lonely… I’m feeling angsty again, despite the season. It’s the first time in a long time that everyone else has been busy; except for me, sitting on my own, doing nothing. I guess I should watch anime or play games or something, but that just feels like escaping…

  • Yesterdays and Tomorrows

    Well, as yesterdays are wont to do, yesterday finished. I think today is a little cloudier, and a little lonlier, than yesterday was. Still, it’s to be expected. If every day was like yesterday, it wouldn’t have been special. So, it’s time to go on with life after a day-long break.

  • Heaven’s Evening Melody

    In the end, the afternoon and evening were better than enjoyable. Really, I can hardly think of a way in which the day has been imperfect. Nearly everyone was here, and we had so much fun in the afternoon sunlight and the warm evening. There was pizza, and cake and a whole hamper-full of sweets. Truly, I’m blessed to spend times like these with friends like these.

  • Fireworks of the Heart

    Today just keeps feeling better and better as it goes on, although I can’t really describe why. Somehow, the cleaning and washing up and food shopping I’m about to do feel like they might even be fun. Everything’s sunny, and happy, and shining, without exception.

  • Beltane’s Fluff

    Yet again, dandelion seeds blow in the wind and the sun beats down from a brilliant blue sky. I’m so glad to celebrate at this time of year, when the world glitters so wonderfully…

  • Ian, now with 100% less teenager.

    I find myself in the strange and unexpected position of being twenty years old.

  • Drifting Clouds and Drifting Seeds

    And so, suddenly, it was May again. A warm breeze blew across the garden and in through the window, mingling with the bright sunshine that set the sky alight. There’s barely a second of time that isn’t heralded by birdsong from the rooves and treetops. My room’s slowly being decorated with the dandelion seeds that are flying in through the window; but on days like this, things like that don’t matter. In fact, it even feels like a good thing. I’d sleep on a bed of them, if I could – because, at long last, it’s summer. A time of year when everything, including me, can shine…

  • Afternoon

    The air outside is hot, and thick, and full of the hands of dandelion clocks. Yet it doesn’t smell like thunder. It smells like cities. Strange smell.

  • Apologies for the Lack of Posts

    Sorry for not having posted in the last week or so… I’m afraid nothing especially exciting has been happening. There was my grandad’s funeral, which was… funeral-like, and plenty of Uni work, and seeing friends, and… that’s about it. There’s always been stuff going on, but it’s not seemed like I should be writing about it. Maybe I just used to write about more stuff than I do now…

  • I can Feel my Ears

    I just had a haircut. Feels weird ;;_;;

  • Calm and Easy So Far

    Well, looks like I’m slowly getting over the ‘flu thing… I haven’t got my appetite back yet though. If my stomach’s reading this, get back to your normal cake-devouring ability quickly, plzkthx.

  • Unexpected Phone Call

    Yeah, um, I just got a phone call I wasn’t quite expecting.

  • Random Brain Spam

    No real patience for a proper entry, so I’m afraid I’m just going to spam stuff about the last week.

  • Memory and Syllabary

    Not much to report at the moment, I’m at my parents house and relegated to using their 56k pay-per-minute dialup for less than an hour every few days.

  • Maelstrom

    I’ll avoid posting too much here, both because my words probably can’t do it justice and because most readers of my blog aren’t interested in in-character stuff anyway. Suffice to say that the last five days have been fantastic. I guess it may well be the ultimate in geekdom, but still, LARPing was one of the most fun things I’ve ever done. I’ll most certainly be doing it again!

  • Just My Luck

    First off – today I took a trip to Bournemouth to see people there, which was awesome. While there, we watched something that seemed to be In Nomine the movie, starring Neo. Apparently there was supposed to be a character called John Constantine in the film, but it must have been a pretty minor part as I don’t think I noticed him…

  • After the World has Faded Away

    Today I think is proof that, no matter how productive I think I’d be, I should never be allowed to live alone. The house is cold, and quiet, and dark, and empty… And it’s got me into the kind of state of mind where you’re bored but yet there’s nothing appealing to do…

  • Chapter Two: Epilogue

    Today, we defeated our long-running antagonist, resurrected a friend and saved the world.

  • Wind Flowers of Summer

    Wow… it’s like Spring decided to give it a miss this year and get stuck straight in to Summer. The weather today was beautiful…

  • St. Patrick’s Day

    So, there are these sheep, right? They roll themselves into balls and roll over bridges, then get hit by giant mecha cricket bats.

  • Planetarian

    <a href=http://planetarian.insani.org/>Planetarian</a> just broke my mind. And now AIR TV episode 10 has just downloaded. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you… Damn Key and their capability to screw up my brain. I’m never going to get any work done today at this rate…

  • Tsuki’s Adventures in Conventionland

    Ack, I apologise for the vastness of the entry… Here goes the details of a fantastic weekend…!

  • A Season’s Slow Dawning

    Somehow, I’m left with a sense of achievement despite not really having achieved anything today. I think many things were achieved around me, and somehow I feel like I was involved. But whatever the reality is, it certainly feels like the summertime of our hearts and minds is dawning again…

  • Tonight…

    Tonight, we watched puppets perform oral sex.

  • Tsuki == Flonne?

    Now I think about it, it’s dawned on me what this costume I’m wearing reminds me of – Flonne from Disgaea. Except my bows are orange and red, not blue.

  • Touching Perfection

    I’m not sure why tonight seemed so oddly perfect, but… it just did. Nothing particularly special happened, but perhaps that was part of what made it perfect – simply that everyone was there, and everything was just as my imagination would suggest that it should be. One of the many days that will forever define the memories of my friends.

  • S

    I wonder if maybe I shouldn’t drink alcohol before I go to bed… For the last week there’s been bottles of cider lying around, and since I’m the only one in the house who drinks cider I’ve been having a few glasses each night to finish it off. But last night was a bit odd… I fell asleep instantly, as far as I know, and woke up instantly too. It felt like no time had passed, and I woke up wondering why on earth the alarm clock had gone off for a few minutes until I actually registered that it was 8am. It was really quite unnerving…

  • A Minimalist Week

    Sorry for a week of no updates… Not an awful lot’s happened, really.

  • Gaussian Blur at the Edges of what is Real

    In character, there was a party. Out of character, there was a party.

  • The Good, the Bad and the Story

    Good News: I have another short story lined up after I (hopefully imminently) finish the two I’m currently working on, and – this is a new thing for me – it WON’T BE ANGSTY. Got that? Beat me with haddock if I even verge on making it the slightest bit angsty.

  • Valentine’s Day

    Valentine’s Day, ptah! I’ll defeat you all with my super Perpetually-Single-Person Angst Powers! Tries to will himself to have laser eye beams

  • Light of the Morning

    I just had a fantastic dream… I can’t really remember what the story was now, but it seemed to involve an awful lot of things that were on my mind, combining them into what must have been an hour-long story that ended with me feeling an almost perfect sense of peace and completion… Then I woke up, somehow refreshed despite only six hours’ sleep, with sunlight streaming in through the curtains…Just for a moment, I think, all is right with the world.

  • Under the Sky so Blue

    Today, even waking up at 8.30 and going to lectures in subjects I don’t really like seemed fun. Walking through the city, dressed in only jeans and a t-shirt, feeling the sun on my face as I looked up at the blue sky, and contemplating the fun that lies ahead of me, today and forever in the future… Today, happiness painted the sky gold and blue, for the first time since the Autumn.

  • New Beginnings

    I can’t really be bothered to do a proper update right now, but still…

  • Fleeting Finality

    The Quantum Physics exam was odd. To start with I turned up to the wrong place (damn this Uni for having two sports halls!) and had to run to the right one. I thought I screwed up the exam when I saw the latter half of part A and realised I couldn’t do any of it – it was all on the electron spin stuff that I hadn’t revised. Looking at the section B questions my heart sank – I didn’t think i could do any of them. But, it turns out, I’m better at working stuff out from first principles than I thought! And by the end of both B questions, I think I had perfect solutions. So, even though I lost 8 marks just by not revising the right stuff, I left the exam feeling really really good! That kind of ecstatic feeling you get when you realise you’ve done something impressive, and you’ve worked it all out yourself…

  • If Space is One-Dimensional, it’s Easy!

    Okay, brief catching-up time. Sorry for my almost total absence from the internet (and IRC in particular) this week – exams and revision have been taking up pretty much all my time, so I’m trying to minimise distractions.

  • Sad Girls in Classical Mechanics

    I have a Classical Mechanics exam in an hour’s time. Revision? No, that would be sensible. Instead, I’m playing Kanon. I guess, after all, I’m fairly confident about the exam now. A productive half-hour yesterday reduced the entire book into one A4 sheet of formulae, which I think I now know all of. So hopefully, the exam should be okay. But in the same way that I didn’t feel like anything important was happening in the build-up to Christmas, somehow I don’t seem to feel that the exams are that important, either…

  • Bleh

    One and a half problem sheets down, one and a half to go, due in tomorrow. Lab report progress: 0%, due in 2pm tomorrow. Viva at 4pm tomorrow. Doom.

  • Lazy

    Yet again I’m being horribly lazy, and have done no work today…

  • Lacking Consciousness

    Seven hours’ sleep in two days. Coffee, alcohol, chocolate, 12 hours’ of gaming, swordfights, Rammstein, tentacle rape, lots of demons and lots of guns. It’s 4am. My mind is broken. I’m going to bed now, and if I wake up before sunset something’s gone wrong.

  • A Lost Week

    Somehow, this past week seems to have happened without me realising. I’ve realised that it’s remarkably easy to slip back into procrastination in this house, I’ve realised how much this place feels like home, and perhaps more importantly I’ve discovered that I have a 6000-word essay due in on Friday that I’m never going to be able to finish, a lab report and three problem sheets due in next week, then a week of exams for which I’ve not even thought about revising.

  • An Evening of Bleh

    This evening has been odd… I’ve got lots of stuff done, but none of it’s been work-related. Also I left the thermostat for the house on 10 degrees all afternoon, and so I’m feeling a bit ill now because I’ve been so cold… I just hope I’m better by tomorrow so I can get started on some work.

  • Back Here Again

    I’m back in Southampton now, four days earlier than planned. It’s kinda’ lonely here with no-one else around, but internet stuff seems to be taking up 100% of my time today. Oh yeah, and I have tons of coursework to do. Writing up lab papers for experiments I did three months ago, for a deadline I can’t remember. Joy.

  • Always and Forever

    It’s at times like this that I’m sure all of us will be together, forever…

  • Xenosaga

    Xenosaga > *. That is all.

  • Childhood’s Epilogue

    As a child, I remember, Christmas was a wondrous time full of happiness and joy. Even as a teenager, although it had lost some of its wonder, I still remember looking forward to it. Over time, though, our approach to Christmas was changing. I guess the first thing it lost for me was a religious significance, then maybe when we got a fake tree, then when we started decorating half-heartedly, when my parents started hating having to cook Christmas dinner (yet would never let me help), when snow was only something from memories… Gradually, I guess, Christmas lost its magic. Now it’s Christmas Eve and I’m not even vaguely excited. I had no advent calendar to finish today, and my room’s not decorated. Slowly but surely, I think I’m learning what it means to be an adult.

  • A Sense of Completeness

    Nothing ever changes, huh? For a while I’m back with everyone in Bournemouth. Today was perhaps more of a reminder than a reunion – the day went just like they always used to, and left a warm feeling behind in our hearts. Walking home at the end of the night, I felt warm despite the cold, sober despite the alcohol, surrounded by friends although alone, and if I closed my eyes I could almost feel the world shining and beautiful around me. As if, with every step, I was coming closer to the world around me. As if I was complete.

  • Leaving a World Behind

    So ended another term. It felt like an awful lot happened in these past few months, and when I think about it the time was full of memories being made. Happy ones and sad ones too, but in a way the emotion doesn’t matter. It’s memories that make these days everlasting – the best days of our lives.

  • A Last Meal

    Tonight, I ate my last proper meal here for a while – and also the largest I’ve eaten in over a week. Man, am I stuffed!

  • Of Rainfall and Farewells

    As seems to be traditional, days of leaving are greeted by stormy weather. Today, we said goodby to Mark until the new year as rain fell in seemingly-solid sheets around the house. Inside there might have been presents and mince pies (by the way, making them is hard without a rolling pin or pastry-cutter =p) but it still doesn’t feel like Christmas. Perhaps tomorrow, when I’m forced to venture into the pre-Christmas free-for-all mob that is Southampton city centre in December, it might begin to sink in…

  • Passing of Conclusion

    So it seems that, almost without a thought, term ended… Not with a bang, or a pop, or even with a party. It faded, just like I thought it probably would. I guess that now it’s time to fade out for a while.

  • Imminence

    Well, here we are, four hours from the end of this term’s Uni work. And, even now, it doesn’t feel special yet…

  • Acceleration of Conclusion

    Well, conveniently the problem of whether or not to go to lectures today was solved for me – I slept through all of them. Even the one at 2pm. So, all that’s left of this term now is roleplaying tonight, Photonics on friday afternoon, friday night’s party, and three days of fading away…

  • Approach of Conclusion

    Well… for better or worse, that’s all my deadlines for this term out of the way. And wow, that feels good… This afternoon – and especially this evening, at the ninja-costumed pub crawl (pictures soon) – I can really have fun!

  • Sensation of Conclusion

    Now, finally, it’s starting to feel like this term is ending. But not a sudden end, though – more like it’s fading; as we start to drift away for a while, trails of golden light disappearing into the darkness…

  • Thrown Off-track

    I guess I shouldn’t be surprised… When they advised us that we should do the Data Handling problem sheets every week during the term, it looks like they were right. Doing the remaining five by lunchtime tomorrow is not happening.

  • Imminence of Failure

    Woke up around midday today, and spent most of the time between then and 11pm feeling tired and as if I was about to collapse. Result – I got no work done. 7 problem sheets remain, to be done within 36 hours. Right now, of course, when I really need to get some sleep before my 8am start tomorrow, I feel wide awake. Staying awake throughout the night is tempting, but I know it’s a stupid idea.

  • Verbal Open Heart Surgery

    Admitting to things I thought I’d rather keep secret was a strangely helpful experience, I think.

  • In the last day…

    Of the last 24 hours, I’ve spent:

  • The Beginning of an End

    Well, it’s December after all. Allegedly. It still doesn’t feel like it.

  • Half-Life 2

    Gamers of a sensitive disposition may wish to turn away now.

  • BSc Procrastination

    It’s now been nearly a week since I went to Uni. In this time, I’ve missed five lectures, a compulsory problem class, and three hours of compulsory labs. Up until this morning, I’d also done no work at all in that time. If there was a degree course in procrastination, I’d have an Honours. But sadly I’m doing a Physics course, so the next two weeks are going to be insane with work. The holidays are in sight, though – only two weeks left…

  • Obvious, but Still a Discovery

    Chasing impossible dreams is the only thing left to do once all the achievable ones fade away…

  • Another Prize-Winning Day

    I first woke up this morning at 9am. By 1pm, I’d got used to the headache enough that I could be comfortable if I lay completely still. It’s now after 4pm, I’ve missed my compulsory Photonics labs, and I’m used to it enough that I can sit still at a computer. It still really hurts to move…

  • Once More with a Lack of Feeling

    Yet again, another night of 13 hours’ sleep. Yet again, I wake up and gaze out of the window at the sun setting behind the trees. I guess that, slowly but surely, this much rest must be letting me recover. At least, I hope so. If not, I must try to resist my sudden urge to hibernate. Winter, as always, brings its own new set of wonderful emotions and feelings – and yet, I do long for the sunshine again…

  • Still Managing to Survive

    It looks like friends, fun and 13 hours of sleep let me recover from Monday’s weirdness. It’s for the best. I feel much better now, and nothing’s really changed apart from that.

  • Tiny Shards of my Fractured Reality

    “Forever has gone, today is infinity…
    and yesterday’s dreams, today a faint memory…

  • Wondering What’s Real

    Only a few days after the whole Malachai thing, it looks like Kotori is strongly vying for a position as an anthropomorphised part of my mind. At least 12 hours and an overnight sleep since the game ended, I’m still thinking like her…

  • New Entries in "Understanding Minds" File

    I made quite a few notes on characters’ behaviour in the World of Darkness game on Thursday, and I’ve just got around to adding them to my file of notes on character and player psychology.

  • This Small Moment’s Ending

    And so, another week finishes… Rarely have I been as glad to finish a week as I have been this time. So much of the last week was spent working, and although I still technically have a backlog of stuff to do, for now it feels like a few days of peacefulness are stretching ahead of me.

  • Voices in my Head, Personalities in my Mind

    Today, I stepped completely inside an illusory mind. But yet, it’s not so entirely illusory. When I think about it, there was one event in my life that set in motion a change that made me who I am today, emotionally speaking. Without that one event, I would be a person like Malachai. I’m not sure if it should worry me or not that I can step so completely inside his mind at will.

  • Day of the Wildebeest Cube

    A lot has happened today… First off, I actually managed to get enough work done this morning that I’m not quite so horribly behind, and I’m now actually feeling quite confident about Classical Mechanics.

  • Not a Usual Day

    Part I – How Not to Wake Up

    I planned to wake up at 9am today. I actually woke up at 1pm, thus missing Kung Fu for the third week in a row. My apologies to everyone whom I’d told that I’d be there…

  • Waving Goodbye to that Degree

    This morning, I woke up three hours early so I could tidy my room and get some work done.

  • An Unchanging World

    In the past two days, I’ve said two things which I’ve gotten embarassed about – one much more so than the other – and yet life goes on exactly as it did before. I suppose I am thankful. But it’s finally beginning to dawn on me… after years of being totally honest to everyone… I have secrets again, now. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad…

  • A Day of Success and Failure

    Today has been weird in so many ways.

  • Today’s Super DDRFUK Adventure

    Today, both of my housemates and I ended up going to London, all for different reasons. This is my story…

  • Brain Fried

    This afternoon I had the Physics Lab session from hell. This evening, I spent most of my time playing Kerplunk as a drinking game. I haven’t slept for 40 hours now. And, I have to get up in 6 hours’ time to go to London.

  • Southampton Pagan moot

    …surprisingly un-scary ^_^;

  • Hmm…

    You know… If someone had told me a year ago that I’d simultaneously have a crush on both one of my best friends’ girlfriend and a person I’d only met three times in my life, I’d probably have laughed…

  • Catching Up…

    It’s been a while since my last entry… Even though not much has happened, I feel like I should post something.

  • Woo Yay Houpla.

    Here’s to another five years of two overly-friendly rapidly-becoming-right-wing politicians mishandling the world.

  • Slightly Disturbing Dream

    I’ve just had one of the most disturbing dreams I’ve had in a long time. It was set in some kind of cathedral in which we (a cast made up of a mix of Physics students and DDRFUKkers) were slowly going completely insane. While remaining sane myself – or so I thought – I watched everyone else spiral into utter incoherence… Then, at the end, I found myself stood in a puddle waiting to hear a voice. When no voice came, I tilted my head back and screamed “God has left the world!” as I finally lost the last of my sanity… and woke up.

  • A Weird Day…

    Today, I had to get back to my parents’ house for 10am. I found this out at 3am. Hurrah for four hours’ sleep!

  • Important Lessons in Life #1…

    …letting your housemates dress you for a fancy dress party is scary ;;_;;

  • The Critical Mass of Mentality

    Having only started to get used to working on two levels at once, I now find myself trying to cope with seven.

  • I Need a Shower.

    For someone who makes you sweat Niagara Falls in a gym that feels more like a sauna, Sifu is surprisingly un-scary. ^_^; I’m glad I re-started Kung Fu!

  • Forgotten Tears of a Grey Angel

    A single “mood” entry doesn’t really do these emotions justice. Right now I’m happy, sad, relieved, frustrated and lost, with an unhealthy dollop of self-loathing added in.

  • Shiny Things and Everything Else

    First up: Shiny things! I now have an extremely shiny new naginata. I’m really happy! ^_^ I wish the weather would be good enough for me to take it outside, though…

  • <3 Nightwish

    Ghost Love Score by Nightwish.

  • RIP My Arm Muscles

    Well, after pretty much no exercise in two years, I did four hours of Kung Fu and Fencing over the weekend. I think my arm muscles have died, and are trying their best to take me with them…

  • Myuu~~~~

    I want this… The scary thing is how easily I could afford it…

  • It’s Like Coming Back Home

    And lo, the one who hadst been cast out into the wilderness for four lunar cycles didst return…

  • An Apology

    My apologies for the being tired and sitting-huddled-up-in-the-corner bits of my behaviour at the party last night. I thought it was just overtiredness, but since I woke up this morning with streaming eyes, a runny nose and a sore throat, I guess I was kinda’ ill (I blame the Freshers). Not that I’m good at social situations normally, anyway, but I think I could have done better than I did last night ^_^;;

  • Slowly Beginning to Accelerate

    Lectures have begun again, with none of the worries or the irritances of last year. This year, I’m no longer apart from people, but rather everything I do is bringing me closer to my friends. Life is less of a struggle, but instead is a dance, starting slowly and gradually quickening in tempo.

  • Personality Addiction

    What is Love? (And I’m not referring to the early 90’s pop song by Haddaway (sp?), although I think I do have that on tape somewhere. Nor the L’Arc en Ciel song that I’m less embarassed about listening to.)

  • Stretching Our Wings

    And so, in six hours, the size of the Southampton University Anime & Manga Society tripled. I never imagined we’d be so popular at the bunfight today. A fantastic day from start to finish, I never thought it’d be so much fun!

  • A Life Less Ordinary

    It’s a feeling, again, like the one I had when I first moved to Nothe Parade in Weymouth. Suddenly my life isn’t full of old things anymore, and there’s a new and exciting world that doesn’t mind me immersing myself in it. And it’s only the second time that I’ve been able to live in a house without the house owner being there too – this way, I feel like I can say “I live here” rather than “I’m staying here”. This house is full of interesting new things, just as my life is coming to be full of new and interesting experiences.

  • Those Things That We Leave Behind

    The light slowly filters in through my condensation-covered windows, shedding a dull and depressing light over the room which is to become my home for the next nine months. Somehow, despite sitting in a bright orange room, this seems like a place of greys, and of sleep. Maybe that’s just because Winter’s coming, though…

  • The Bournemouth Meet in Glorious Technicolour!

    Prologue – Curry Night!

    Since asking my boss for Friday off went unexpectedly well, I left work at 3:30 on Thursday and headed to Bournemouth. I stopped by at Dom’s house for an hour or so, then we headed into town to meet up with Ant. The few hours we spent in Wetherspoons were great fun (Curry Club <3), but we ended up having to leave quite early to pick up incoming DDRFUKkers from the station. On the way there, though, we randomly bumped into Elise and Nigel, and recruited them for the weekend! At the station we picked up Lime, Splidge and Tau, then we all headed back to Ant’s place for Pop’n ASC fun!

  • Super Fun Time!

    Fireworks fun tonight, and the DDRFUK Bournemouth Meet next weekend! This is going to be awesome! ^_^ It’ll be a nice change from the boringness of living on Portland…

  • Hmm…

    I’m sure there was a deck of tarot cards and a couple of books on astrology around here before my mum “tidied” my room…

  • Up in the Clouds

    My work is fun, I guess… and I suppose watching TV and playing games at home are fun too. At least, that’s what I should think. Yet, it’s beginning to bore me after just a couple of weeks. Every day is a routine, and every day will be, stretching forwards ahead of me across the summer.

  • Wandering in Beauty

    Today, I’m on an adventure. Walking aimlessly between the sunny sky and the verdant land, marvelling at the beauty of the world… Truly, there’s no better feeling than this… Although I’m alone, I’m still happy and peaceful… This is the kind of place I always long to be, the kind of emotion I always yearn to feel.

  • Under the Burning Sky

    It’s been one of the nicest days I remember, today. Not a cloud in the sky, and the sun shining down strongly… Shame it won’t last even until tomorrow, apparently.

  • Endings and Beginnings, part II

    So there it is, the ending of Stellvia – and it was everything I hoped for and more. I just can’t get over the flood of emotions that come from finally witnessing the awesome end of something that dominated my heart and mind as totally as Stellvia did…

  • Wishing the Future could be Here and Now

    I suppose it’s a sign that I was enjoying myself, when I didn’t think to check what time it was until I noticed it was already sunrise… (And yet, I still feel wide awake now even though I didn’t sleep last night…)

  • Stories Ending and Beginning

    I wonder if it’s a bad thing that I get so emotional about stories… Adding to my own rather emotional feelings recently, I’ve just finished watching Da Capo and reading the latest Discworld Novel, A Hat Full of Sky. Also, I’m getting very near the end of watching Uchuu no Stellvia and playing Grandia II. So, yeah… the ending of four stories at once is making me feel really odd at the moment.

  • <3 Impulse-buying

    Logic3 Metal Dance Mat.

  • Blue as the Sky

    Well, it’s been a week and a half since I left Southampton, and things are going… oddly. I’ve spent a lot of time at Adam’s (watching the England games and playing IIDX) and Dom’s (playing FFX-2 and Grandia 2, plus chatting about random stuff). Also visited Andy’s house once for more IIDX fun, which was awesome.

  • Empty Cupboards, Empty Dreams

    So, that’s it. No more Gateley Hall, no more Flat 4.

  • Oh, How I Wish for Sleep

    So, I went to bed about 1.30am – not unusual. Unfortunately I forgot to set an away message on MSN, so at 2.30am I get worken up by Ike’s incessant spam. After that, I manage to get to sleep until 5.30am, whereupon people start talking in the corridor outside my room, and the door do Jo’s room starts slamming once every minute or so.

  • Taking Down Posters

    Taking down my posters, I can’t help but remember the day on which I put them all up…

  • Change of Plans

    Looks like my parents are coming to pick me up at about 10am on Friday morning. So I guess I only have one day left here, and I probably need to spend it all packing and doing chores…

  • An Eternity of Sunshine

    Despite the fact I’ve done virtually nothing today except burn anime onto CD, the awesomeness of today’s weather just makes me feel great! I hope it lasts…

  • Damnit!

    I just had the most awesome dream, but it faded so quickly from my mind… I remember it was set in London, and some entity that seemed to be God was killing off all the important humans one-by-one. But then, certain humans were quickly developing magic powers, the powers of ancient dragons I think they were, and the story turned into the reinactment of an ancient draconic war using magickally-adept humans as the dragons’ representatives on Earth.

  • An Ending

    Staring out of the window this afternoon, it seems like hardly any time at all since we arrived here. And in so short a time, we made this place our own, and now all of a sudden we’re leaving again… So I guess that means a third of my time at University is done. Only two years left. I guess I’m being childish when I say I wish it could last forever – but I do, I really do. Every day here is full of wonderful feelings and wonderful people… When I think of some of the adults I know – how rarely they see their friends, and how lacking in emotion and adventure their lives are… Why? Why would people want to be like that? I want to always live like I do now…

  • Awesome weekend!

    Saturday was the DDRFUK (plus a few DDRUK people) meet, and it was absolutely awesome! Meeting everyone again was brilliant, I definitely need to go to more of these meets! My achievements today – getting an A on Beethoven Virus, and spilling Lime’s drink all over the floor within a minute of his arrival. ;;_;; I win the prize. Also had a go at Valenti on Freestyle mode and discovered it to be the most fun thing ever. Inspired by that, I went and had a go at some DDR doubles and did pretty well, so I think doubles is the way to go for fun at the moment. I also need to get better at freestyle – my main problem is reading complicated arrow sequences, so I figure I could aim for doing simple songs while looking good rather than just going for harder songs all the time.

  • Twelve Hours TBH

    Twelve hours until the start of this weekend’s London festivities which will remove what little remains of my bank balance.

  • Is that Freedom I Taste, or just the Espresso?

    Note to self: Caffeine is not a good substitute for revision.

  • The Looming Doom of Doom Looms Doomfully Over Me.

    In other words: In nine hours’ time, I have an Oscillations and Waves exam. I’m still completely unsure of what we need to know for it. There’s tons of formulae and I could never hope to be able to remember them all. On the other hand they are all derivable from a fairly simple set of basic formulae, but doing so will take up lots of time in the exam.

  • A Learning Experience

    First up: My computer finally has a GUI again! Six days of console-based IRC clients and text-only web browsers have been quite annoying… But finally, not only do I have an OS that I’m pretty much happy with, I’ve learnt a hell of a lot about it in the process!

  • Bank Holiday Boredom

    Yet another catching-up post for what’s been going on this weekend. Basically, it’s not a lot ^_^

  • Just catching up…

    Yesterday

    My second exam, Energy and Matter, went astonishingly well considering I didn’t do as much revision as I think I should have done… I think Rhiannon was pretty worried about that one – but since I’m such an idiot, I forgot to wait around afterwards to find out how it went… I hope you did well!

  • Ebb and Flow

    So… an interesting day by all accounts. I intended to spend all day revising for my Energy & Matter exam, and I did get quite a bit of revision done this morning. In the afternoon, Eric invited myself, Nick and Fez to have a picnic on the Common – which was awesome. We went into town later and played some DDR, which was also awesome, and I found out that Fez is friends with Myst, and he also knows about IIDX and stuff as well! So strike three for the Southampton Bemani community – yep, that’s right, there’s a whole three of us that I know of ^_^; Whilst in Sega Park, we met another person, John, who bought us all drinks at Shakeaway! So… whoa. Today’s been absolutely awesome…

  • Tomorrow’s Super Fun Schedule

    MATH1007: Mathematical Methods for Physical Sciences, 14:30 – 16:45, Stoneham Dining Hall

  • Leaving…

    “Hello, little star
    Are you doing fine?
    I’m lonely as everything in birth
    Sometimes in the dark
    When I close my eyes
    I dream of you, the planet Earth
    If I could fly across this night
    Faster than the speed of light
    I would spread these wings of mine…“

  • Bleh

    So much for getting my laundry done, finishing watching Scrapped Princess and doing a ton of revision today… when I wake up at 2pm, I’ve got no chance of doing anything productive.

  • An Ending

    I wonder… how did a mere forty-eight hours become long enough for a chapter to be a story in its own right?

  • Dreaming of the Calm

    Friendship, and…

  • Just a Few Things

    Yesterday, (while everyone was being IIDX-obsessed) I think I pretty much decided that I will, after all, cosplay as Shem at Minamicon. It’ll feel odd, cosplaying as someone who looks extremely evil ^_^;

  • Awesome Dream

    “Can you tell me why, can you tell me how?
    Can you tell me why aren’t you happy now?
    Whatever it is, it’s really over now
    Can you tell me why, can you tell me how?
    We took them by surprise
    By leaving this place
    Some thoughts we left behind
    Some good and some sad
    You should know
    I hold you in my arms…
    You should know
    That I hold you in my arms…“

  • Eeek.

    Four hours later than planned, I’m finally going to bed. What’s been keeping me up for so long, though, is Richard telling me about the story he’s writing… which, from the sounds of it, its going to be absolutely awesome… It’s all planned out really well – shame Dreaming Awake isn’t like that ^_^;

  • Not much to report.

    It’s been a really quiet day. Downloaded some anime (Fullmetal Alchemist, Onegai Twins) this afternoon, spent this evening playing UT2k4 and watching more anime (Tales of Eternia).

  • Bleh.

    So, I got coaxed into going out for a drink tonight. All’s well and good until about half an hour after we get to the pub, when my flatmates decide they’re going to go and catch a bus hlafway across town to go to the Cube (the Union nightclub). That’s not in itself a problem, except for the fact they didn’t even ask if I was coming or not, and they didn’t bother to wait to let me finish my drink…

  • Hurrah!

    Shockingly, I’ve got some work done today, and my bathroom’ll probably be clean for the room inspection tomorrow!

  • Catching up again…

    Sorry I haven’t posted anything for a while. Okay, at the moment:

  • Basic Food Hygeine

    Basic Food Hygeine for Flat 4, Gateley Hall

  • Becoming More Like Kotarou

    So, my first day back in Southampton after the weekend.

  • Shinies and Stalkers

    Okay, so… weekend. I went back to bournemouth to see my parents, since I coudn’t see them actually on my birthday. I have much shiny stuff! I have a USB keyring flash disk, which is quite awesome, and also a new optical mouse which should stop me breaking normal mice. I have a shock legitimate copy of UT2k4, and a huge stack of CDRs that’ll let me reclaim some hard disk space from the hordes of anime. Also two new books (one of which I’m 3/4 of the way though already ^_^;) and some clothes. And money too!

  • Surreal

    That… that was strange.

  • Aura and Adrenaline

    Well, despite only starting my revision three hours before the test, I got the highest mark that I’m aware of anyone getting, which is pretty good going ^_^; Also by lunchtime today I was feeling really rather good, and I got a lot of work out of the way, which means I’ve really got minimal amounts to do tonight or tomorrow morning.

  • Bleh

    Okay, so I stayed up until about 4am last night. The evening was really fun, but the next few days won’t be… I have a lot of work to do by Friday, and my flatmates are also expecting me to go out tonight to celebrate my birthday. On top of that, I had about 4 hours’ sleep last night, and I’ll be having about the same tomorrow night. I have a headache, I don’t feel great, I’m insanely tired, I can’t work very well (great fun for the test I’ve got coming up in an hour’s time) and I haven’t eaten a proper cooked meal since Monday.

  • Birthday Fun \o/

    This afternoon, Gamesoc! This evening, an anime showing! Tomorrow, going out with my flatmates! Super fun days!

  • I missed so many lectures today…

    Oversleeping for fun. In slightly better news, I got a fair bit of work done today, and also grabbed the Pop’n Music 9 soundtrack from Char (<3!) which I’ve been listening to for most of the day.

  • Whoah

    That was an absolutely awesome night! It was Steve’s birthday today, and we all went to see Supergrass live at the Guildhall in Southampton. They were absolutely brilliant, and the warmup band – the 22-20’s – were pretty damn good too! All in all, not bad for my first concert ever ^_^ Afterwards, we intended to go to Jesters but seeing the size of the cue we all went to the Hobbit instead (a far better place, IMO). While we were there… DRAMA, I’m afraid. Vicky getting stressed, pints being thrown, and Steve getting very drunk indeed, although the last one’s not necessarily a bad thing!

  • Super Fun in London!

    Okay, so… today!

  • Life Conspires Against the Need for Sleep

    And so a second day in a row of being up until 3:30am – less alcohol this time though, and more discussion of theology in general and Wicca specifically. I’m very definitely glad I stayed up for it, I rarely get to have discussions about that kind of thing anymore!

  • We have a house!

    This afternoon, we signed the tenancy agreement for the house! \o/ Also I have a new keyboard, so I can finally actually use my computer again!

  • Whoah, no updates for a week! But I have good reasons…

    Monday: Pretty much nothing of importance.

  • Triple-bill of awesomeness!

    Today, we went for a picnic on the common! Great fun, really nice weather, and I confirmed my belief that I’m awful at football. But still, an awesome day! Three in a row now…

  • Unending Sunshine

    Yet another perfect day…

  • Beautiful Days

    Wow… they weather today’s absolutely awesome! 17 C and bright sunshine, it really feels like spring – almost summer – here.

  • Nothing to report…

    …except that today’s been really far too relaxed, it’s almost worrying ^_^; This new Programming lab module is amusingly easy…

  • Drifting away…

    For some reason, I’ve woken up with a really powerful feeling that I just don’t belong, that no-one really cares… especially to do with the internet. I don’t know why, though… I can’t explain why I suddenly feel this way for no reason at all…

  • Back here again!

    I thought it would feel very odd to be back in Southampton again, but now that I’m here it’s not so odd after all. Going to the pub with my flatmates, coming back home and being on IRC… it all comes back so easily ^_^

  • London Meet!!

    So much ownage compressed into such a short period of time. Today really was absolutely awesome. Umm… yeah ^_^; I really can’t think of a way in which today could have actually been better. A really awesome end to an awesome Easter holiday.

  • Another Remembered Dream

    Last night’s dream… I’ve dreamt the same thing before. Some kind of huge battle in the great hall of a castle, in medieval times, then going to sleep and waking up to find myself in modern times, with the castle a ruin and the central part of some kind of theme park. Eager to get back to the castle, all the people (including me) who came forward in time break into this theme park together, but they soon disappear, leaving me on my own to dodge security guards in the forested ruins…

  • Blah…

    I guess now I realise why I don’t really like my parents, and why I do anything else rather than spend a day with them if I can avoid it… Although I still love them, I can’t really like them, I can’t be friends with them. All we ever talk about are menial things, like putting the washing out or cooking dinner, and the way they speak to me is at best dispassionate, and at worst, sometimes, insulting. We share no common interests, so whatever things interest one party are completely uninteresting to the other. And even worse than disinterest, some of my interests (most particularly anime, but plenty of others besides) I occasionally get insulted for. Even conversations where differences are good – philosophy, or religion, or politics, for example – are just met with a mental brick wall that stops the conversation almost before I’ve started…

  • Waaaaa~~~

    At various points in my life I’ve had dreams that seem to be pretty much a part of the Dreaming Awake storyline… but this morning… this morning I dreamed of DA’s finale. Golden spears and magic swords and everything. Complete with the uber-headfuck moments too. Yay for messed-up-ness.

  • Fading Trails of Light

    And now, truly the last day. I got into town about a minute too late to see ER off at the station (sorry!)… then, lots of Shakeaway, Maplins and Pump fun later, Char and MoFo left too.

  • We are Very Happy if you have Enjoy

    And so, the Bournemouth meet comes to a close. A day of dance games, but more importantly of saying goodbye. Thanks to everyone who came down to Bournemouth, and made this such an awesome weekend!

  • Noodles with Phi.

    Noodles with Phi. And Bee. And Angel, Char, Endless Rain, Fi, Flazh, Frieza, Fuse, GreenOpal, Jo, Kotori, OneCrazyMoFo, Roy, Rufus, Stel, Tasha, Tomoki, and Tyma.

  • And so, the Bournemouth Meet did come to pass.

    Day One!

  • A Sky Bluer than Blue…

    Yesterday and today, temperatures reached 18 degrees C here, and the sky was almost cloudless for most of both days. Almost felt like Summer was here…

  • Playing Catch-up

    Okay, sorry… it’s been a long time since I last updated – pay-per-minute 56k dialup bites hard.

  • Glittering in the Sunlight

    For the first time this year I went out, and danced in the sunshine. The warm sun, the chill wind, the damp grass under my bare feet, and the glints of light from my (improvised) sword as it swung around under the beautiful sky… It’s times like these that I believe I can be happy again. That we can all be happy again… One day soon, the sun will shine, and it’ll never go out…

  • Still Waiting for Minamicon

    I go home in less than two hours, back to 56k pay-per-minute dialup, and I’m still waiting for the Minamicon 11 website to appear… argh, this is going to be annoying!

  • Frustration

    Argh… I want to do something.. something creative. But there’s really not a lot to do… I’d like to design some graphics in Photshop, but I know I’m not good enough to achieve a good effect… I’d like to do some stuff for my websites, but I’m really not sure if there’s anything I can do. There’s just… nothing useful I can do, at all…

  • One of the worst nights out…

    In the words of Chris, “Screw this shit, I’m done.”

  • Best thing ever.

    .hack//Liminality. It’s so messed up, it’s great!

  • Brief Moments, Fading…

    *“Hello, little star
    Are you doing fine?
    I’m lonely as everything in birth
    Sometimes in the dark
    When I close my eyes
    I dream of you, the planet Earth
    If I could fly across this night
    Faster than the speed of light
    I would spread these wings of mine
    Through the years and far away
    Far beyond the milky way
    See the shine that never blinks
    The shine that never fades…” *

  • Shining Brighter than the Sun

    So… Minami Con 10. Where to start?

  • 14 hours 30 minutes…

    …until MINAMICON!! This weekend might possibly be one of the most awesome weekends of my life…

  • Wasting Away…

    I had to wake up four hours late today, missing today’s lectures, just so I could get a sensible amount of sleep… that can’t be good. I still haven’t started the 1500 word essay that’s in for Friday, and now I have to run to make it to this afternoon’s Gamesoc meeting…

  • Not much to report

    My life seems pretty good at the moment, excepting the 1500 word essay on damping in oscillatory systems that’s due in on Friday and I haven’t started yet. Anyway, just a cheap excuse to nick Fi’s quiz really.

  • It’s official…

    Copying all the quotes from the now-defunct MMWP site into the new quotes system is actually more annoying than death itself. It’s going really slowly, too…

  • Frustration

    I don’t know why, but… everything I do seems to be annoying me today. IRC annoys me, Ragnarok Online (normally the most addictive thing ever) annoys me, even blogging annoys me. It’s dark outside, which is kinda’ annoying for some reason, I’ve wasted an entire day doing nothing… Any music I care to listen to annoys me, I feel like I’ve got a headache coming on, I’ve got too much energy… Argh! This really is the worst feeling, because I know there’s nothing I can do to sort it out, since it’s so irrational…

  • Almost a new Story Arc

    I think I can finally see things becoming better… Minami’s coming up, I might have found a place to live in Southampton, the Dreaming Awake roleplay system’s finally coming together, and… I just kinda’ feel that I’m on top of things. On the other hand, Dom still isn’t happy, which kinda’ puts a downer on things, but I’m sure the new arc will deserve to start soon… A change from the current, depressing, one will be good. Current favourite title for the next one is “Sun Dancer” saga.

  • Housing Situation

    In the space of 10 minutes, I now have two possible groups I could join in with for house-hunting… looks like it may not be so bad after all…

  • Comedown

    I’ve just come back from a weekend at home for my mum’s birthday… it was kinda’ boring there, but kinda’ good also… it’s good to be relaxed occasionally.

  • Dancing in the Snow

    And today, things are finally looking up! I got a lot more work done today than I’d normally do, and also it wooks like the Southampton Uni Anime Soc is finally getting underway, as we now have the required 25 members!

  • Memories of Pancakes

    I’ve just been making them in the kitchen for my flatmates, we might be making them at Exalted tonight (but last I heard, we weren’t)…

  • An odd day so far…

    I woke up after having a fairly odd dream, but was wide awake from the moment I got up. Easily made it to the lecture on time. Then, I started to get irritated by everything, I don’t know why. Itchy seats, people whispering, the lecturer taking about five minutes expalining what convection was when we’ve blatantly know what it was for at least five years… that kinda’ thing.

  • Falling Apart…

    From some recent LJ posts (Phi’s and Frieza’s especially), plus the stuff that’s been going on on the DDRFUK forums and IRC channel, I’m kinda’ worried… There seems to be a lot of bad stuff going on that I’m only scraping the surface of.

  • Devoid of Purpose

    Overcast day
    Evening light fading away
    Twilight

  • Best thing evar.

    I wish I lived in Japan, was female, and weighed less than 50kg…

  • Wasting Days

    I’m really tired, and I have been all day… there’s been nothing to do that I really want to do… The only bit of useful work I did all day was do some graphics for Adam’s latest stepfile, Love’s Rebirth by Third Project. It’s been an interesting job trying to find out where this song originally comes from, and I haven’t had a lot of success. The only references to it I can find on the ‘net are either about Rogue’s TM4 entry or a BMS file for it. I’d assumed from the BMS that it was originally from some flavour of Beatmania, but Fuse didn’t seem to think so, so… I dunno ^_^

  • Exam Results

    <table border=1 bordercolor=#000000 cellpadding=10><tr><td>School of Physics and Astronomy – Semester 1 Examination Results – February 2004

  • Triumph and Disaster of the Laundry Crusade

    So, I try to cheat the system. It’s virtually impossible to do the laundry here without a two hour wait, even at times when most people have lectures. So, my solution? Go at a time when people not only don’t tend to go, but when others would think it’s a ludicrous time to do laundry. So, at 8:30 this morning, I go and do my laundry. Success! The laundry room’s empty, I manage to wash and dry in under an hour.

  • Diary of a Day of Troubles ~My Heartache~

    Why… Why won’t anything good happen today…? … Here goes, today in a nutshell.

  • Wasted Time

    So… another weekend wasted. I should have done more work, I shouldn’t have spent the whole of this afternoon in the pub, and I certainly shouldn’t have spent as much money as I have done. Somehow, before Thursday morning, I have to do 11 hours of lectures, go shopping, do my laundry, visit the estate agents’, play Exalted, play Mage, and do three problem sheets, two of which actually require re-learning the material since I wasn’t awake enough in lectures to actually pay attention. This week is gonna suck.

  • Valentine’s Day in Geekland

    So, did you all have a nice Valentine’s day? And, really, does it matter?

  • Successful Mission!

    Today, I managed to go shopping, play Mage, and learn about General Relativity! Bonus! Now I just need some serious sleep (or as it looks like being, about 5 hours…) before tomorrow’s fateful presentation of death… Wish me luck! ^_^

  • Ye Gods, What a Dream…

    Ugh… I just dreamt that I was dying of cancer and had one day to live, and of the things I did in that day… And then, I didn’t die that night, so I had another “final” day… And from that dream, I’m now sure of two things… that I want Dreaming Awake (finished or not) to carry on forever, and that my parents and I love each other more than anything else in the world…

  • Dreaming Through the Days

    I’ve officially done nothing this weekend. And I wanted to get an early night… which just hasn’t happened. Tomorrow I get to go shopping, and watch Grave of the Fireflies, a double bill of depression! At least I’ll enjoy the latter somewhat more than the former…

  • Wasted Time

    So… I woke up at 9:30 this morning, thought “I’ve only had eight hours’ sleep, I can get away with one more”, intending to get up about 10:30 and go shopping, which I badly needed to do today.

  • So, Yeah, Updates.

    Sorry I haven’t been updating much recently… been busy.

  • Recursive Dreaming

    I dreamt that I was asleep… and then I woke up, but I was still in a dream… It was the oddest experience…

  • Lonely Dreamer

    It… kinda’ hit me today. I think I’m lonely here. Sure, we have fun sometimes, my flatmates and I, but maybe the most fun I have in the evenings is sitting in front of this terminal, chatting on IRC, drinking a beer and eating chocolate… I dunno, does that make me a geek, or a loner, or what? But whatever it does, I’m not sure it matters to me…

  • Okay, I Hate Computers Now

    Apologies for being temporarily or mostly offline during the last few days. For what must now be approaching the tenth time, I’ve decided to give Linux a go. Since I wasn’t in a game-playing mood at all, I decided it might be good to switch for a while. Getting my MP3s playing is still a challenge, and I’m still running in 1024×768 because the relevant people haven’t released the drivers yet. They said it’d be yesterday, but guess what – it wasn’t.

  • Radical Dreaming

    So, super fun dreams last night… I think I managed to have two pretty-much-complete dreams last ngiht.

  • Snowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnowsnow…

    SNOW!

  • Most Bizarre Night

    Well, last night was the first time I’ve actually danced with someone in a club… O_O Not that it’s much like dancing, more like just… moving slightly while rubbing against someone… ;;;; Well, I lernt two things there… one, apparently I’m “not assertive enough” – yeah, I could’a told you that… and second, I guess I’m not much of a physical person… I found it kinda embarassing to touch someone like that… ^^;;

  • PapapapaYeah~~!

    Woohaha, I’ve finished my exams! Today’s Forces and Fields exam didn’t go so bad… I guess it was a pretty good idea to do that practice paper at the weekend… It caused a bit of trouble, but I finished well before time. And the Electronics exam yesterday, I pwned! =p I’m seriously hoping for 100% for the exam there.

  • Just an Excuse for a Quiz, Really

    Going into Uni in a minute for dinner, and this afternoon’s Electronics exam. I still haven’t revised yet, and really I don’t think there’s any point in me actually doing so… I’m trying for 100% here anyway, although I doubt I’ll make it at University level… worth a shot though!

  • Boring Weekend…

    Well, I went back to my parents’ place to get some peace and quiet for revision this weekend… and yeah, it was really quiet ^^;; I did plenty of revision for the Forces & Fields exam on Tuesday, which I’m happy about… and I got lectured at twice by my parents, which I’m not. Just because they asked me to do the washing up rather than me doing it on my own, and because I didn’t mind what train I took back to Southampton, doesn’t mean I “don’t show initiative” 0;;

  • Anxiety, Indecision, Photoshop and the Need for Milk

    Anxiety: First off, I’ve got a viva / viver / however you spell it for Electronics tomorrow afternoon, which’ll probably be okay, but first I’ve got to catch up with my notes from lab sessions and the project. Because I didn’t really write anything much in my lab book as we were going along… so I’ve gotta catch up now before my lecturer asks to see it tomorrow. Eeek! But anyway, I’ve got the project circuit diagram printed off, so now all I have to do is write up some notes for the project and for two weeks of labs, pretending that I’m writing them at the time I was actually doing them… ^_^;; I’ll maybe write some stuff about the project tonight, then do the lab stuff tomorrow when I meet up with james before the viva / viver / haddock.

  • Honorary Chemist!

    Well, today was a really rather cool day! I had my maths exam this morning… it was sorta’ annoying that I didn’t have time to finish all the questions that I could have done, but I think I did pretty well on the stuff that I did get to answer… And, yeah. I spent the afternoon playing Soul Calibur 2 at John’s flat, which was pretty awesome, then I became an honorary Chemist for the evening and joined the Chemistry guys in Wetherspoons… and then we went on to Flares.

  • Chores day three: Moderate Success!

    (Insert Big Brother voice-over) It’s day three in the Hinata Inn, aka Flat Four, and that lazy bastard Ian has got off his arse and done something!

  • Blargle

    For the second day in a row, I haven’t had time to do my laundry. \o/ I must really stink… I did manage to go shopping today, so at least I can eat now. I didn’t do any baking, or any revision, though… and now I’ve got an annoying headache that paracetamol doesn’t seem to be shifting, so I had to stay in tonight, rather than going out with everyone to celebrate the arrival of our new flatmate…

  • Still wasting away my life…

    …not working as hard as I should, being distracted, doing nothing… I… don’t know why this is what my life is becoming… Or whether it’s a good or a bad thing… It’s almost like being outside of time, watching the hours flow past like lucid memories, my mind forgetting their passing as soon as they have gone…

  • Messed up Body Clock fun

    I got nearly twice as much sleep this afternoon than I did last night… Hopefully by stocking up on food and coffee now I can manage to get some work done this evening, and hopefully I might be able to get to sleep when I need to, rather than lying awake not being able to fall asleep…

  • Ugh… Brain… fried…

    Yay~su… Exalted went on until 2am yesterday, then add on the walk home, getting ready for bed, and waking up at 7.30 this morning – I got three and a half hours sleep last night! Since I did manage to get up at 7.30 I made the effort and went in for my Maths tutorial, but I couldn’t think straight the whole time, and kept closing my eyes… That’s why I gave up on the other two lectures that I had (in theory) today, since I really would have just fallen asleep.

  • Home for lunch

    Nothing much to say, life’s quite boring. Lots of work to do, going to play Exalted tonight.

  • A day of nothingness…

    So, today. I have achieved exactly nothing. Done nothing, except eat. Tomorrow, i think I really need to start doing something worthwhile…

  • Ugh

    I can’t be having with any more of this work tonight, even though I still have half of both my Quanta and my Forces & Fields problem sheets, plus a maths problem sheet, to do by Friday… oh, and there’s a Circuit Theory test on Friday too, what fun! Bleh…

  • Back Here Again

    It seems kinda’ odd being back here again, but then… we were only away for three weeks… Bournemouth, I’ve decided (with all my friends and family there) is better than Southampton. But living here is great too! We celebrated our first evening back as Flat 4 by… drinking and ordering a takeaway pizza! Nothing ever changes, does it? ^_^

  • First Dreams of the New Year

    Admittedly, my only idea that the first dream of a new year should be special comes from Azumanga Daioh, but… I wonder… If only the dream I had two nights ago happened last night, it would have been awesome… As it was, the dream was kinda’ messed up and confusing and really stupid in the way lots of dreams are… It was something to do with counter-terrorism, like being in the SAS or something, but all the things that happened, happened in either a desert, or a strange superposition of a hotel, a hospital, and Southampton Uni. All I can really remember now is that it involved a lot of running around…

  • New Year~su!

    NewYearFun! I met up with Adam, Ant and Rich at Adam’s house to start with, for Pop’n, IIDX and sake, then walked up to the Talbot Arms for the evening. Unfortunately Richard wasn’t feeling great and had to go home… The evening wasn’t all that exciting, but at least no mingers of doom like last year! ^^ Elise turned up later after doing delivery driving until 10pm – eek! We stayed until about 1, then headed home. Adam forgot his housekeys and phone so couldn’t get back home, and so both him and I decided to go to Ant’s house instead. We got absolutely drenched on the way back! >< Anyway, we stayed up for another hour and a half at least at Ant’s house, and Ant and I watched some more Bottle Fairy, which owns.

  • Jewel-Studded Dreams

    The dream I just had… it’s a rare thing, these days, to have a dream with a proper story – a beginning, a middle, and an end. Well worth staying in bed for an extra 3 hours for! ^_^ Of course, memories of dreams fade fast, and I can’t remember much of the story any more. But the end… the final, enduring image of the dream… Two young people, one male one female, dressed in armour made entirely of multicoloured fist-sized gemstones etched with gold… Holding similarly gem-studded swords… Whilst standing on the kind of beach you see in adverts for Caribbean holidays, just staring out to sea. And the sense of completion, that everything had a happy ending…

  • Merry Christmasu!

    Merry Christmas everyone!

  • Woo, I suck.

    I am the master of suckage. It seems, this year, I’m forgetting everything… I forgot Mothers’ Day, my mum’s birthday, five family birthdays, and I nearly screwed up Christmas too… I forgot to get my parents a card, and I managed to leave it until today to get my mum a present. Unfortunately all the things she actually wanted for Christmas I couldn’t find anywhere, so I just bought the nicest-looking box of chocolates I could find… I hope it’s gonna be okay… Well, I s’pose I’ll find out tomorrow morning…

  • Dentistfun

    Eeek, dental agony funtime! My teeth are apparently fine, but my dentist still insisted on descaling them with a big metal spike, and yanking hard at my teeth with said implement. Oww~su…

  • DDRUK Meetfun!

    w00t! I am t3h enjoy! It was great to meet everyone, finally… and yeah, those “dance machine” things were quite good too =p I’ve got some pictures, but unfortunately my camera sucks. I guess other peoples’ pics will be appearing on the DDRFUK Boards soon enough!

  • Time and Money (and the lack thereof)

    Eeek… too little time to do anything, because I spend too much of it sleeping or just doing nothing… And too little money, although I continue to spend it anyway…

  • What is home…?

    Well, yesterday I moved back to my parents’ house for three weeks for Chrsitmas! It was kinda’ sad to say goodbye to people there for three weeks, but it’ll be good to see everyone from Bournemouth again. I just wished they’d come home sooner, I think Dom and Adam are back on Thursday and Ant next weekend. In the meantime, I’m not having much to do, but I guess it’s okay to take it easy for a while. I’ve got lots of revision I could be doing (exams in January, eek!) and lots of games I could be playing now I’m back at home with a PS2 and a TV… But for a few days, I think I’ll just relax.

  • People are too Complicated

    Today has been a very odd day…

  • One day to go…

    One problem sheet question…

  • Five Hours’ Sleep

    Well, I’ve got a fun five hours’ sleep ahead of me before my only compulsory bit of the week, my Physics tutorial! Woohoo, what fun!

  • Star Waltz

    It’s… so cold out here… Alone, dreaming, under the stars…

  • Completion

    Whoa, now that feels good. Finally, it’s the weekend, I can sleep, and have fun, and go to LAC on Sunday, and do some stuff for the Dreaming Awake website and all sorts of stuff… and I don’t have to worry about work for another few days!

  • Life, and Work…. or are they the same thing?

    Why is it, that my life seems to revolve around work more and more… It seems like every evening, I work until gone midnight… I’ve done all I think I can do of my maths coursework – I can’t really do the last question, it would take a lot of thinking about, and my brain’s just not up to it any more. Maybe I can scrape finishing it off in the lecture tomorrow, if I sit near the back ^_^

  • Work Overload

    So much work… and I’m just writing in my blog while my books are open on my lap, just finding something to pass my time rather than work… I know that’s bad, but.. my mind wanders like nothing else… I’ve got tonight and tomorrow night to finish this lot, and I will manage it, even if I have to chain myself to the problem paper…

  • Internet vs. Maths – we have a winner!

    Bleh, it’s getting annoying now… I’ve been trying to get down to doing my maths coursework for three days now, and still haven’t done any… There’s always so much other stuff I end up being distracted by… So, I’m really gonna have to do a lot of work over the next three days…

  • Inverse Dream-Tripping ~ Is This What a Nightmare Is?

    The last two nights, I’ve had dreams… dreams that seemed very real indeed. The night before last, some kind of festival which for some reason I had to escape from, but the buildings I was in were a maze that I couldn’t find my way out of, no matter how much I ran… But yet still, for some reason, the layout was somehow… familiar. And then last night, I dreamt that I was at a school where bullying and voilence dominated everyone’s lives there, and that I was weak and could do nothing to stop getting beaten up…

  • Eat, drink be merry, and have some more driiiinnk! ^_^

    Yaaaaaaaay~su!!

  • Fish and Chips and Paracetamol

    For some reason, I’ve got a really bad headache… Nothing seems to be going right for me at the moment. I can’t concentrate, I couldn’t be bothered to cook tonight, I’ve wasted at least 10 CDRs on various flavours of Linux, none of which I particularly like, and ‘cos of this bastard headache I can’t even go out tonight… I just hope IRC can satisfy my desire for sentient company, since everyone else is buggering off to the cinema or pub…

  • All Mathed Out

    That… was one awfully long work session. My IRC addiction’s becoming more obvious now, with me watching the screen more than the paper I’m writing on… and now, my mind feels like death itself. Chocolate is required, I think! ^_^

  • Let the Blogging Begin!!

    At long last… I have a LiveJournal thing! Apologies if it gets taken up with pointless musings or pseudo-poetry… I’ll try my best to do something useful though.

  • Love Hina UK

    So, it’s happened – I’ve finally made it back to the world of education again. Even though I’ve lived on my own before, moving to University is the first time I’ve had to live with people I don’t already know. The thing is, I’m wondering if this is some kinda’ strange psychological experiment – I’m the only guy out of the 9 occupants of this flat. It’s a bit of an odd experience, but we all seem to get along pretty well.

  • Drowning in Unachievable Dreams

    “Can you still see your dreams in the distant, starry sky?
    Are they more vivid than they were when you were little?
    When one forgets to put the emotions that overflow in her heart to rest, they burn the color of passion.
    I used to believe without a doubt that I could reach my dreams, no matter how far off they were.
    But that me from long ago now sleeps inside my heart.
    Dreams are more fragile and fleeting than a glass rose,
    so then why are we destined to dream?”

    — “Scarlet”, opening song from Ayashi no Ceres

  • Lasting Monuments

    All the things I’ve done up to now… they don’t seem to have lasted. The work that I did at school – it started and finished there. And I was just the same as everyone else, and what I did there would never be important.

  • Twilight Breeze

    “Come with me in the twilight of a summer night for awhile
    Tell me of a story never ever told in the past.
    Take me back to the land
    Where my yearnings were born
    The key to open the door is in your hand
    Now take me there
    to the land of twilight…“

    — “The Key of Twilight”, from .hack//SIGN

  • Eternal Sunlight

    Summer is brilliant… It’s 27 degrees (C) in Weymouth today, the sun’s shining and the sky’s pure blue…

  • Humanity and Beauty

    I wonder, what it is that makes us human? Perhaps, it’s beauty. Not being beautiful, but perceiving beauty.

  • Longing for Unreality

    The problem with Roleplaying is, life as Tsuki is more fun…

  • Leaving a World Behind

    Did I, after all, enjoy that…?

  • Life’s Rose Waltz

    Life… is a song. For different people, it has different melodies, different beats, a different feel. But it’s still a song. And there are those who dance to their song and flow with their life. There are those who stand uneasily on the dancefloor of life, clutching their pint of stubbornness and try to fight it. And there are those who sit on the edge, watching the dance of life spiral past them…

  • Status Report

    • Uptime so far today: 20.9 hours.
    • Meals consumed today: 7.
    • Enjoyable meals consumed today: 3.
    • Time spent travelling today: 7 hours.
    • Time spent online today: 4 hours.
    • Movies watched: 1.
    • Anime episodes wathced: 2.
    • Business presentations made: 2.
    • Newspapers read: 1.
    • Number of times playlist on MP3 player has looped: 4 (approx 40 songs total).
    • Number of times playlist on computer has looped: 0.15 (approx 230 songs total).

    Will have to be awake to buy a Fathers’ Day card and catch a train to Bournemouth in 9 hours’ time.

  • A Thousand Summer Days

    Ah… good day, good day.

  • Coloured Lights in the Darkness

    Sitting on the windowsill, staring out at the funfair lights across the water, and dreaming… It’s a brief rest from the weekend’s business. A meal out yesterday, barbecue and five visitors to the house tomorrow, Trawler Race Day on Monday, to Bournemouth for the night on Tuesday, then back to Weymouth to recover on Wednesday. And all that time, there’s festivals and celebrations every day here…

  • Cards with Changing Faces

    I got some new Tarot cards today – for once, a normal set. I’ve gotta say, I’m really impressed. The deck’s called the Celtic Dragon Tarot, and the artwork is very nice indeed!

  • The Nature of Barbecues

    Well, about 2 o’clock this afternoon we decided to have a barbecue. About 1 o’clock in the morning, I’m sitting on the stairs in our house, listening to Bob Dylan and swigging Scrumpy straight from the bottle. And I’ve got to go to work tomorrow morning. Well, this morning really.

  • In Memoriam

    “I make my back, to the hometown that looks just the same.
    The schools and the factories, standing alone still remain.
    But the faces have changed, and the ones that I knew are gone.
    And I hear the laughter and voices still echo my name…“

    — Celtus, “Rosa-Ree”

  • Burning Dreams, Fallen Worlds

    Our minds are nothing. Formless, timeless, existing within ourselves as a paradox, something more than the sum of its parts. They are “us”, but without the physical components of ourselves, they cannot function. All is silent, untouchable, odourless, tasteless… dark…

  • Nothing Changes

    The Moment of Truth has Begun.

  • Strange Life

    Why is it, that I seem to be living my life uncaring, as if small things are unimportant? Things like tidying and cooking don’t seem to matter any more, as if a change will come soon that will make them worthless?

  • Summer’s Dawn

    I think I’ve found the good thing about living in Weymouth… I woke up and went to work this morning, it was a bit cloudy, and I hardly saw anyone. When I went home at 3:30, the sun was out, and the road I live on (which happens to be the quayside) had sprouted about a hundred people and a street cafe.

  • Childhood

    As I stand here at dawn, I am reminded that a wonderful life has only just started, and every new day is filled with hope…

  • Song to the Stars

    Am I… alone? Am I outcast? Am I outside, looking in; or inside, staring out at the world? Am I the last one here; or the first one to leave?

  • Sinister…

    Just finished reading Phoenix Feathers (which I was long overdue to do)… Liberi Fatali starts playing…

  • So… it’s over…

    And so, all things must come to pass… Everything that is, must end…