The Dorset Trading Card Game

Work in progress. Probably can't be arsed to finish. Proceed with caution.


I got very bored and made a card game based on the best county in the world, Dorset. The rules are nicked from what I remember of Magic the Gathering from 15 years ago.

Each player begins with 20 life and a deck of 50 cards. The deck can be built from any combinations of the cards in the set, up to five of each individual card. Decks might focus on one colour or use cards from all colours. They take turns in order.

Card Types

Each card is one of three types: Location, Character and Event. (These are pretty much Land, Creature and Instant for you M:tG fans.)

Location cards that are in play generate a number of points every turn that can be spent on any characters or events in your hand.

Points come in three flavours: Sea, Town and Country (Blue, White and Green). Each location may generate one or more these, and characters and events have a cost which may include one or more of them.

Once played, Location and Character cards stay in play unless something removes them. Event cards are used and then discarded immediately.

Character cards can be used to attack an opponent, who uses her own Character cards to defend.

Location and Character cards may have special abilities which activate under certain conditions.

Turn Order

  1. At the beginning of a player's turn, she draws one card from her deck (or five cards, on the first turn).
  2. If she has any Location cards in her hand, she may play one of them.
  3. The location cards she has in play now produce their points. If she has any Character or Event cards in hand that, when their costs are added, cost equal to or less than the amount produced, those cards can be played.
  4. Event cards can also be saved up and used later, including in opponents' turns, provided the player has enough un-spent points.
  5. Character cards are played in front of the Location cards. For Event cards, their ability happens immediately and they are then discarded.
  6. The player may then assign any, all or none of the Character cards she has in play to attack one or more opponents.
  7. Each defending opponent may then assign their own Character cards to block them as they wish.
  8. Any attacking Characters that are not blocked do their Power in damage to the opponent.
  9. For Characters that are blocked, the Power of attacker and the sum of the Powers of the defenders are compared. If the attacker has more power, the defenders are removed from the game. If the defenders combined have more power, the attacker is removed from the game.
  10. Regardless of the outcome of the combat, blocked attackers do no damage to the opponent they targetted.
  11. It is then the next player's turn.

The Cards


Name Points Generated Ability Card Quote
Dolphin Centre 1T When you play Dolphin Centre, you may search your deck for a Tatnam Chav card and put it into play.
Heron Court Road 1T At the beginning of your turn, choose an opponent. That opponent takes 1 damage.
Bournemouth Square 2T

King's Statue 2T

Dorchester Market Square 2T

Ringwood Brewery 1T ??
Wool Village Stores 1C

Williams the Baker 1C

Blandford Forum 2C

The Crescent, Boscombe 1T When you play Dolphin Centre, you may search your deck for a Dubious Hooker card and put it into play.
Bournemouth Beach 1S When Bournemouth Beach is in play, Grockle cards may be used by defending players to block any number of attacking Characters.
Tophill 1T 1S When Tophill comes into play, remove any Underhill cards from play.
Underhill 1T 1S When Underhill comes into play, remove any Tophill cards from play.


Name Points Cost Power Ability Card Quote
Captain Lewis Tregonwell 4T 6 When you play Tregonwell, you may search your deck for a Location card and immediately put it into play. "What ho, chaps! I say we build ourselves a town!"
Gordon the Tramp 2T 2 When Gordon attacks, without looking at a clock, guess the time. If you are correct to within 5 minutes, Gordon's Power becomes 5 this turn. If you are more than 15 minutes out, Gordon's Power becomes 0 this turn. "WHAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"
Irate Farmer 1C 2
"Gerroff moi lahnd!"
Irate Commuter 1T 1
"Get off my road!"
Tatnam Chav 1T 1
"Oi, mate! Mate! Got any fags?"
Boscombe Chav 1T 1
"Oi, you! You startin'?"
Dubious Hooker 1T 1
"'allo love."
Council Member 3T 1 When you play Council Member, you may search your deck for a Location card and put it into play. "The results of the 2012 funding round are in, and yes, we will now be allocating as much as 78% of the council tax funding on pornography!"
Massey-Fergusson Dealer 2C 2 When Massey-Fergusson Dealer is in play, all Irate Farmers have +1 Power. "Assa gert big trac'r tha' is!"
Trainee Tank Driver 1T 1C 3 When Trainee Tank Driver attacks, Irate Commuter cards cannot be used to attack or defend at the same time, as they are stuck behind him on the A31. "For Queen and country! And traffic congestion!"
Conor Burns, MP 3T 4
"The other day, while I was having tea with Lady Thatcher..."
Richard Drax, MP 3C 4
"See that land? Mine. That? Mine. That bit over there? Daddy's. But soon..."
Portlander 2C 2 If a Portland Bunny is in play, Portlander's Power becomes 0. "Oi ain't seen you round 'ere before..."
Portland Bunny 1C 0
*snuffle* *snuffle* *plot Portlanders' doom*
Grockle 1T 1
"Excuse me, could you point me towards the Laguna Hotel?"
Fisherman 1S 2
*grumble* *grumble*
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall 3C 3 While Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is in play, all Fishermen Characters have -1 Power "I say, are you sure you're allowed to be fishing there?"


Name Points Cost Ability Card Quote
Council Fuckery 3T Pick one Location controlled by an opponent, and remove it from play.
Zoning Law 1T Remove one of your Locations from play. Search your library for another Location and put that into play instead.
Stuck Behind a Tractor 2C Pick one opponent. During their turn, they may not attack with any Characters that have a Town point in their cost.
Roadworks in July 3T You may not attack this turn, and none of your opponents may attack on their turns until the next time it is your turn again.
Bournemouth Air Festival 2T Every player may search their deck for up to 2 Grockle cards, and put them into play.
Weymouth Carnival 1T 1S Every player may search their deck for up to 2 Grockle cards, and put them into play.
Dorset Show 2C Every player may search their deck for up to 2 Irate Farmer cards, and put them into play.
Fireworks are Cancelled! 1T 1S For the rest of this turn, Chav Characters have +1 Power and Grockle Characters have -1 Power.
Roar on the Shore 1T 1S Grumble something about your council tax. Then remove all Grockle Characters from play.