National Treasure

Synopsis

NICOLAS CAGE, a GOOD TREASURE HUNTER, steals the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE so that SEAN BEAN, a BAD TREASURE HUNTER, can’t steal the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. Because that would be BAD.

They then go on a FUN EASTER EGG HUNT across AMERICA, finding some SECRET CODES to unlock the location of some 3D SPECS to read the SECRET CLUE to the RENDEZVOUS on the AIRCRAFT CARRIER and discover the SECRET-ER CLUE that leads to the CHURCH with the GRAVE with the SECRET DUMBWAITER and the TREASURE ROOM, in which lies… guess what… a PILE OF WET FISH!

Oh wait no, it’s treasure.

Also apparently I am not alone in badly photoshopping Nicolas Cage’s face onto things.

nothing to see here

By the Numbers

Overall: DEVASTATINGLY MEDIOCRE / 5


ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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