Synopsis

A BUNCH OF PEOPLE with WEIRD EYES embark upon a VIDEOGAME QUEST to discover the SECRET of AMBROSIA, presumably how the people in DEVON make it SO CREAMY.

Spoilers: it’s JIZZ.

By the Numbers

• Freakish Eyes: 108
• People not actually killed after all: 24
• Chest Hairs: 7851
• Miyazaki Factor: Over 9000
• Plots of Laputa: 0.97
• Swords: 1
• Metal Pipes: 1
• Pipe Organ Mecha: 1
• Forces Luke is immune to: 2 (Gravity, Centripetal)
• Amount of a shit given by Melina while hanging by one hand from a pipe a thousand feet off the ground: 0
• Days of the week I would dress like Descole if I could: 7
• Rice pudding: Somehow, none

Overall: 3 / 5