Synopsis

All the WHITE GUYS in HONG KONG have PSYCHIC POWERS and DYSFUNCTIONAL LIVES. Now they must BAND TOGETHER to stop the INEVITABLE SHADOWY GOVERNMENT AGENCY from creating the INEVITABLE ARMY OF MUTANT SOLDIERS.

Constantly tracked by WATCHERS who SEE THE FUTURE, they avoid having their FUTURE ACTIONS predicted by having NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE DOING.

It’s INEVITABLY SUPER EFFECTIVE.

By the Numbers

  • Times things are Pushed: 23
  • Times things are Pushed Real Good: 9
  • Salt n Pepa: Ooh baby baby.
  • Uses of The Force: 134
  • Syringes of Evil Black Goo: 4
  • Futures communicated by Lite-Brite: 1
  • Osaka chopsticks: 1
  • Fish shouted at until they explode: 6
  • People beaten unconscious with clearly unsafe safety signs: 1
  • Shiny, shimmery Macguffins: 89
  • Pinkies per pinky: 1
  • Brains per Pinky: 0
  • Average age of alcoholics: 13
  • Chekhov’s Umbrella: 1
  • Vulcan nerve pinches: 1
  • Acts of American Diplomacy (measured by number of bullets fired):298
  • Bullets shot at the obviously bullet-proof guy anyway: 36
  • People who got the Wrong End of the Stick: 2
  • Coney Islands: 0? I’m still unclear on whether it’s actually real or not.

Overall: 4 / 5