“A watched pot never boils.”

What the hell? Of course it boils. In exactly the same time as it would if it were unobserved. What, is there some kind of quantum thing going on here?

No, the only time a watched pot wouldn’t boil is if you were the bastard lovechild of Cyclops and Iceman. Now imagine the personality that bastard lovechild would have.

…Now imagine Cyclops and Iceman making sweet, sweet love. That, ladies and gentlemen, was your thought for today.

I’m off to douse my brain in bleach now.