Synopsis

CHANDLER, a FAILURE, is secretly ZAC EFRON, a FAILURE. By the power of a CREEPY SUICIDE-JANITOR, he becomes ZAC EFRON again. Who is SEVENTEEN. No, really, I was as shocked as you.

EMBARASSING, POINTLESS HIGH SCHOOL HI-JINKS ensue, until at last ALL are overcome and sink forever into the PIT OF DESPAIR.

By the Numbers:

• Cheerleader upskirts: 5
• Slaps: 9
• Spock ears: 6
• Lightsaber duels: Somehow, 1
• Zac Efron douchebag factor: over 9000
• Scenes of main character flirting with ex-wife: 87
• Scenes of main character flirting with daughter: 24
• Scenes of flirting in Elvish: Somehow, 2
• Percentage of all scenes that are cringeworthy: 99.4 (the credits are just about okay)

Overall: -23 / 5