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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva

Synopsis

A BUNCH OF PEOPLE with WEIRD EYES embark upon a VIDEOGAME QUEST to discover the SECRET of AMBROSIA, presumably how the people in DEVON make it SO CREAMY.

Spoilers: it’s JIZZ.

By the Numbers

  • Freakish Eyes: 108
  • People not actually killed after all: 24
  • Chest Hairs: 7851
  • Miyazaki Factor: Over 9000
  • Plots of Laputa: 0.97
  • Swords: 1
  • Metal Pipes: 1
  • Pipe Organ Mecha: 1
  • Forces Luke is immune to: 2 (Gravity, Centripetal)
  • Amount of a shit given by Melina while hanging by one hand from a pipe a thousand feet off the ground: 0
  • Days of the week I would dress like Descole if I could: 7
  • Rice pudding: Somehow, none

Overall: 3 / 5

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