Apple, Razer, Logitech - you have nothing on this. Yes this, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest advancement in input peripheral technology to date and - if I may be so bold - the best mouse you will ever see. Gone are the risks of RSI in your index finger, gone are the stresses of actually having to click anything. The AutoMouse Mk. I clicks for you!

Background

A set of tests I am currently involved with at work involve using a GUI app to transmit signals. This must be done repeatedly, hundreds of times in the course of a day, and there is no way to automate the procedure - for every signal you wish to transmit, you must press a button. After three days of numb hands and brains rotting through disuse, we came up with this. The most ingenious invention of all time.

All credit to my colleague Daryl for building this. For some reason, whenever I pick up a soldering iron, someone restrains me before I can do too much damage…

Usage

Using the AutoMouse (TM) Mk. I is simple:

1. Move it so that the pointer is over the button of your choice.

2. Attach a lead to the BNC connector on the back of the mouse, and plug it into a signal generator*.

3. Happily click away without moving a muscle!

• Sold separately, for vastly more than the mouse.

Ergonomics

Yeah, you basically can’t use it without destroying every tendon in your hand. But once it’s set up and clicking, you can reverse any damage by visiting the doctor’s surgery while the mouse clicks away on its own.

Availability

The AutoMouse (TM) Mk. I is not available anywhere except our lab. We may make you one for the sum of eleventy billion dollars, which I’m sure you’ll agree is an entirely fair price to pay for what may be the greatest single object ever created.

In Other News