In an attempt to save his HOUSE from being destroyed by EVIL BUILDERS, ARTHUR turns himself into a TROLL (the pencil-top kind) and goes to live in ALBION (the Fable kind).  Somehow, choreographed SWORD-FIGHTING to  the Bee Gees’ STAYIN’ ALIVE on top of a GIANT TURNTABLE is involved.

Then they go off to defeat the EVIL M, who is probably secretly MORIARTY (the LXG kind), only he’s a PROTOSS (the Starcraft kind), rescue his GRANDFATHER, find the RUBIES, yadda yadda yadda.

Somehow, DAVID SUCHET, DAVID BOWIE, MADONNA and SNOOP DOGG are all in this movie.

By the Numbers

  • Creepy crushes on fairy princesses: 1
  • Grandmothers drugged: 1
  • Maximum age difference between Arthur and grandmother: 30
  • Spontaneously-generated African tribesmen: 4
  • Fairy princesses that turn out to not suck: 1
  • Rasta trolls: 3
  • Rasta flies (wtf?): 1
  • Characters called Arthur: 1
  • Characters that are invisible: 0
  • Years between this film’s setting and the manufacture of the Ferrari 250 GTO, which Arthur has a toy of: 2
  • Years between this film’s setting and the invention of speed cameras, which Arthur somehow knows about: 9

Overall: 3 / 5