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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Batman – The Killing Joke

Synopsis

BATMAN and BATGIRL team up to FIGHT SOME DUDES and ANGST for half an hour.

Suddenly, A WILD JOKER APPEARED! And brought with him THE REST OF THE FILM, which is at least 50% more rapey, 100% more murdery, and 1000% more CREEPY AS FUCK.

By the Numbers

  • Bat-girl: 1
  • Bat-man: 1
  • Bat-boy: 0
  • Bat-bat: 0
  • Bat-sex: 1
  • Bat-contraceptives: 0
  • Bat-periods: Apparently we went there
  • Paris, Franz: Incredulously, 1
  • “I’m going to need some alone time…” (OFFSCREEN GRUNTING): 1
  • “Don’t kiss me! I am the night!”: 1
  • Creepy dentist corpses: 5
  • Giant thrones built on a pile of disembodied doll heads: 1
  • Harrowing train rides with tutu-wearing midgets: 2
  • Times Batman is beaten over the head with a saucepan full of lobsters: Welp, that happened
  • Times Batman has had sex while being stared at by a massive creepy gargoyle: That too

Overall: 4 / 5

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