Film Reviews (by the Numbers)



WEIRDLY YOUNG ALEC BALDWIN and WERIDLY NOT-THAT-DIFFERENT GEENA DAVIS die, and discover that the AFTERLIFE was written by TIM BURTON. And that they have to spend it with CUTE GOTH WINONA RYDER and CRAZY LECHEROUS BATMAN, which, you know, doesn’t really sound too bad?

By the Numbers

  • Awful 80s special effects: 77
  • Afwul 80s hairdos: 38
  • Awful 80s outfits: 42
  • Awful 80s people: 7
  • Awful 80s 80s: 80
  • Deaths by dangerous dog-movement: 2
  • Handbooks for the recently diseased: 1
  • Alien sandworm / land shark hybrids: 1
  • Entirely unnecessary smoke machines: 1
  • Tap-dances with teeth: 1
  • Michael Keatons: 1
  • 16-year-old goth Winona Ryder: over 9000
  • Beetles juiced: 1

Overall: 4 / 5

2 replies on “Beetlejuice”

I LOVE these reviews!
Why not pop round our place so you can review a film in a different setting – see if it has any effect on the style…

Aside from the babysitting issue, you’re on 🙂 I should warn you that booze is an essential ingredient to these (as if you hadn’t figured that out already).

Another FRbtN on its way tonight!

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