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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Bolt

Synopsis

Canine sequel to The Matrix.

DOG believes he has SUPERPOWERS. Dog escapes fictional reality and experiences the world outside. Dog still for some reason believes he has SUPERPOWERS, which he doesn’t. There are AMUSING HI-JINKS and HEART-WARMING MOMENTS. He re-unites with his OWNER, then sells her out and allows the MACHINES to crush ZION.

By the Numbers

  • Adorable furry critters: 3
  • Mastery of CGI: 5
  • Plot originality: -197
  • Mafia pigeons: 3
  • Tears jerked: 0
  • Continuity errors: 2
  • Drinking game potential: 2
  • Zombies: 0
  • Explosions: 3
  • Hamster’s ranks in the “Persuasive” feat: 182

Overall: 3 / 5

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