A film review by Danfox Davies.

Synopsis

SCOTLAND, but before Queen Victoria RUINED IT ALL. That MAGICAL TIME of KILTS, HIGHLAND GAMES and BROCHS by LOCHS. And BEARS, WILLS O’ WISPS and CELTIC WITCHES. Oh yes, them too.

By the Numbers

  • Inadvertent extreme sewing practice: Yes
  • Cannibal mums, thankfully distracted: 1
  • Man vs woman size ratio in most clans: 4:1
  • Stonehenges: 1.45
  • Bagpipes: 3
  • Typical Scottish Friday Nights: 2
  • Scottish clan chiefs dragged by the lugholes simultaneously: 4
  • Cabers tossed: 1
  • Brochs: 1.3
  • Dun Brochs: 7
  • Dingwalls: 20
  • MacIntoshes: 20
  • MacGuffins: 20
  • MacGuffins: 0
  • Foes claimed vanquished by MacGuffins: 2000
  • By Dingwalls: 10000
  • Furries: 5
  • Wooden carvings that fit on one cart: OVER 9000

Overall: 5 / 5

Answercauldron messages: If you’re reading a Film Review By The Numbers, pour in Vial 5.