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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

G-Force

Synopsis

NICHOLAS CAGE plays a SECRET AGENT, who is also BAD PUN MOLE.  Together with THE WHITE GUINEA PIG, THE MEXICAN GUINEA PIG and THE BLACK GUINEA PIG, they fight EVIL BILL NIGHY.

I’m rooting for EVIL BILL NIGHY.

By the Numbers

  • Things for worms: 1
  • Guinea pig DDRs: 1
  • Guinea pig Facebooks: 1
  • Stealth Hamsters: 0
  • Memory stick-stealing cockroach armies: 1
  • Hamster, in percentage ferret: 25
  • Caravans destroyed: 1
  • Fireworks per incidences of “O Fortuna”: 314
  • Uses of the word “varmint”, per FBI agent”: 0.17
  • Taser toasters: 1
  • NOOOOOOOODES: 26
  • Cockroach disco balls: 1
  • YIPPEE KI YAY, COFFEE MAKER: YIPPEE KI YAY, COFFEE MAKER

Overall: 0 / 5

RIP Cinema 1896–2009

4 replies on “G-Force”

As a smallchild, my family used to keep guinea pigs. This was also the first of the new-wave of 3D films I saw.

Which provides no explanation at all as to why I might have sortofmaybe kind of secretly quite not really of course but looked at it in a certain light done something that bore more than a passing resemblance to an emotional state that, if pushed, might perhaps be rendered in English as enjoyed

… watching

… it.

Oh look – pain worshipping redneck zombies.

Well, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying it, provided you feel appropriately guilty about it! 🙂

That’ll be five Hail Marys and a rewatching of The Shawshank Redemption.

You’ve never seen it? :O It’s a fantastically moving film, if you should ever find yourself in the mood for it.

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