Synopsis

NICHOLAS CAGE plays a SECRET AGENT, who is also BAD PUN MOLE.  Together with THE WHITE GUINEA PIG, THE MEXICAN GUINEA PIG and THE BLACK GUINEA PIG, they fight EVIL BILL NIGHY.

I’m rooting for EVIL BILL NIGHY.

By the Numbers

  • Things for worms: 1
  • Guinea pig DDRs: 1
  • Guinea pig Facebooks: 1
  • Stealth Hamsters: 0
  • Memory stick-stealing cockroach armies: 1
  • Hamster, in percentage ferret: 25
  • Caravans destroyed: 1
  • Fireworks per incidences of “O Fortuna”: 314
  • Uses of the word “varmint”, per FBI agent”: 0.17
  • Taser toasters: 1
  • NOOOOOOOODES: 26
  • Cockroach disco balls: 1
  • YIPPEE KI YAY, COFFEE MAKER: YIPPEE KI YAY, COFFEE MAKER

Overall: 0 / 5

RIP Cinema 1896–2009