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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Hanna

Synopsis

Someone took LILAC, crossed her with LUNA LOVEGOOD, made her a HIGHLY TRAINED ASSASSIN, and sent her off to kill DANA SCULLY.

In related news, I DIED HAPPY.

By the Numbers

  • Fake Cate Blanchett, in eyebrows: 2
  • Leet ninja skillz: over 9000
  • Leet synthesizer skillz: over 7143
  • Dickgirls: Somehow, 1
  • Lilac factor: 10289
  • Shiiai factor: 7433
  • People who these references make any sense to: 4
  • Deaths on funfair equipment: Somehow, 4 (unrelated)

Overall: 4 / 5

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