Ian Renton« Film Review by the Numbers
Igor
Synopsis
IGOR, a STEREOTYPE, invents FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER to win an EVIL SCIENCE FAIR. Unfortunately, said MONSTER is a DITZY ACTRESS. With the inevitable part-time career as an EVIL PSYCHOTIC DEATH MACHINE.
Also, EVERYONE FAMOUS who has ever been in a MOVIE, is in a MOVIE.
By the Numbers:
- Percentage chance of horror: 100
- Suicidal bunnies: 1
- Baby seal boots worn: 2
- Deer shrunk: 1
- Performances of songs from Annie: 3
- “Women problems” encountered: 0
- Weather-control devices: 1
- Cloudy with sunny spells: 0
- Potato Armies: 0
- Truman Shows: 1
- Weather-control devices: 1
- Monsters destroyed to the tune of Tomorrow: 6
- Pants-related questions of Carl Crystall: 1
Comments
Waitaminute... nothing in this film produced a reading of 'over 9000'? Why are you, and what have you done with Ian...?
Oh, bollocks! Didn't notice that.
If you can keep a secret though, this is actually the fifth review that didn't have one... :)