« Film Review by the Numbers
A WEIRD FISH-THING escapes from a WEIRD HUMAN-THING, comes ashore and falls in love with an ACTUAL HUMAN. WEIRD FISH-THING is then re-captured by WEIRD HUMAN-THING, but escapes, and returns to reclaim her love by LAYING WASTE TO HALF A CITY and AN ENTIRE SHIPPING FLEET with a GIANT ALL-CONQUERING FISH TSUNAMI, then alters EARTH’S MAGNETIC FIELD to DESTROY THE WORLD by crashing the MOON into it.
So basically she’s FRIEZA, but also a FISH that’s in LOVE with a FIVE-YEAR-OLD.
By the Numbers:
- Miniponyos: over 9000 (that was easy)
- Miniponyo creepiness: likewise
- Goldfish: 0
- Good driving habits demonstrated by mother: 0
- Evil guys wearing eyeliner: 1
- Crab shields: 0.5
- Wondrous Fish Explosion-Tsunami: 1
- Approximate Rides of the Valkyries: 2
- Evil baby-stares: 4
- Joe Hisaishi factor: 275
- Hayao Miyazaki factor: lost count
You might want to re-jig the formatting on this one...
You're right, that's gone totally buggered. Give me a few minutes...