A LOT OF PEOPLE pay to have sex with EMILY BROWNING.  Then, SOME OTHER PEOPLE pay A LOT MORE MONEY to not have sex with EMILY BROWNING.

By the Numbers

  • Boobs: over 9000
  • Vaginas: 3
  • Penises: 0 (Because obviously the Australian taxpayer couldn’t pay to have a film with dicks in it, that would be lewd)
  • Disney factor: minus infinity
  • Kubrick factor: 57
  • WTfactor: also over 9000
  • /d/ factor: remarkably low, really.  No, she doesn’t have a dick.
  • Dead guys in this film: 2?
  • Emotions showed in this film: 2?
  • Inexplicable credits for “original music”: 1
  • Extent to which I now feel like a sex offender: yeah, let’s go for over 9000.

Overall: 2 / 5