Another guest Film Review by the Numbers!
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG and pals encounter a SUSPICIOUSLY GOOD ROBOTNIK and enjoy a late 90s CARTOON EXPOSITION FEST.
Now known as a NOSTALGIA FEST.
By the Numbers
- Lampshaded unnecessary dangerous visits: 1
- Overconfident geriatric owls: 1
- Nostalgia level: over 9000!
- Robotnik, in moustaches: Yes
- Portal rings: 0
- Robotnik vs random anime girl in gameplay wins: 101-0
- Aircraft destroyed: 3
- Post-apocalyptic cities: 1
- Scapegoats for climate change: 2
- Dragon wings per robot that even the villain can’t handle: 2
- Cheese machine gun arms: CHEESE MACHINE GUN ARMS! AND WHY IS THIS NOT THE FIRST TIME WE HAVE SEEN WEAPONISED FROMAGE???
- Boss battles: 2
- Knuckles, in tribal references: 0
- Seconds to spare before explodey thing would have gone boom: 0.01
- Wills o the wisp: 5824
- Ghosts in the machine: 0
- Tears cried: 2 rivers
- Robotnik’s plot, in Zuckerbergs: 1
- Floating land that realised gravity existed: 56789 MegaWile-Es
- Etch a Sketch style screens relied on to deduce success of evil plots: of course.
- Amount of this whole thing which was apparently a scheme for forced marriage by deduction of everyone else: 100%
- Planet Freedom, in Sonic Hedgehogs supported: 1
- Cute but deadly but predictable missiles: 3
- 3D printed bioinspired architecture: impressively present
- Whack-a-Knuckles: what is this, an arcade game?
- Genes named after this epinymous character: Somehow, 1