Synopsis

JULIE WALTERS and JIM BROADBENT, having spend all the MONEY from previous RESPECTABLE MOVIES on WHISKY and COCAINE, join forces with some COMEDIANS who should know better, to produce THE LEAST COHERENT WASTE OF FILM EVER CREATED.

By the Numbers

  • Chickens cooked by grenade: 4
  • Age gap between Julie Walters and Harry Hill that we are expected to believe: ~50 years
  • Public service announcements: 5
  • Hamster vomit, litres: 37
  • Fornicating priests: 1
  • Butlins adverts: 1
  • Shell puns: 6
  • Giant traffic cones with custom number plates: 1
  • Laser eye beams: 2
  • Barbecue Beef Hula Hoops: 40006
  • Stuffed Alsatian parents: 2
  • Walking brain velociraptors shot at with rocket launchers: 2
  • Scenes of Julie Walters rapping (badly): 1
  • Scenes of Julie Walters drinking petrol: 2
  • Explanations of the mass deficit due to the binding energy in atomic nuclei: somehow, 1
  • Minutes of my life wasted: 88

Overall: -7 / 5