Synopsis

The MAFIA are having a NICE QUIET DINNER. Suddenly, PUNISHER! EVERYBODY DIES.

Later, after some PLOT EXPOSITION, the MAFIA raise an ARMY OF THUGS to hunt him down. Then, PUNISHER! EVERYBODY DIES.

By the Numbers

  • Inverted chandelier-dangling Uzi-firing kill count: 13
  • Pencil-induced brain readjustments: 1
  • Teeny-tiny adorable crossbows: 1
  • Faces mutilated by impractical recycling machinery: 1
  • Percentage of Subway travellers who are totally cool with the badass skull-armoured gun-toting guy just wandering around: 100
  • Krispy Kreme motherfuckers: 37
  • Jigsaw pieces: 9
  • Swedish delicacies: 2
  • Mid-air bazookaings: 1
  • “You have the right… to SHUT THE FUCK UP.”: 1
  • “Hey… I axed you a question!”: 1
  • “Oh God, now I’ve got brains splattered all over me.”: 1
  • Heads per Nana: 0.3
  • Frank Castles: 1
  • Roy Castles: 0
  • Nathan Fillion as Richard Castles: 0
  • Howl’s Moving Castles: 0

Overall: 3 / 5