Synopsis

BILL MURRAY, an IDIOT, comes to BRITAIN and auditions for the title role in JOHNNY ENGLISH. He is REMARKABLY SUCCESSFUL.

By the Numbers

  • Minutes of bizarre theatre: 93
  • Minutes of film: 94
  • Maids confused: 1
  • Flowers: two
  • Luggages: 0
  • Victor Meldrews: somehow, 1
  • Scenes from The Shining recreated with croquet mallets: 1
  • Scenes from Dirty Harry recreated in the very same scene: 1
  • Inevitable Minis: 1
  • Traffic cones dispatched by compressed air gun: 9
  • Traffic circle encirclements: 6
  • Sexports: 700 percent
  • Morris dancers: somehow, 12
  • Games of Kerplunk played by Russian henchmen: somehow, …oh, whatever
  • Marbles lost: 74
  • Complete Histories of the Soviet Something-or-other: 1
  • Dodgy toilet metaphors: All of them
  • Tropical beach MI6 cat/dog roleplaying what the fuck am I even doing

Overall: 3 / 5