The Musketeer (2001)

Synopsis

D’ARTAGNAN’s PARENTS were killed, so in order to avenge them, D’ARTAGNAN learns LEET NINJA SKILLZ, joins the MUSKETEERS, talks in nothing but CLICHES, and flirts embarassingly with MENA SUVARI.

Also, ARAMIS is a SARCASTIC BASTARD with an EIGHTIES POWER METAL MULLET.

By the Numbers

Overall: 1 / 5 (with brain enabled),

or 5 / 5 (with brain disabled)

Cheese rating: Casu marzu (warning: gross). This shit is Film Review by the Numbers gold.

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