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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

The Room

Synopsis

Enter stage left: TOMMY WISEAU, an alleged ACTOR, alleged WRITER, alleged DIRECTOR and alleged PRODUCER.

Exit stage right: OUR WILL TO LIVE.

By the Numbers

  • Convincing lines: 0
  • Convincing pillow fights: 0
  • Convincing drunks: 0
  • Sex scenes: 6
  • Sex scenes that serve any kind of point: 1 (being charitable)
  • Scenes with creepy background music: all the rest
  • Minutes of my life I have now wasted watching Tommy Wiseau’s bare gyrating arse: 12
  • Instances of bad dubbing: over 9000
  • Instances of inexplicable American Football: 5
  • Half-drunk Croatian cyborgs: 1
  • Hilarious wife-beating stories: 1
  • derp: 23
  • druuuugs: 87
  • Sex: 48
  • Drugs: 16
  • Rock and Roll: -224
  • Cheep cheep chi-chi-chi-chiiieeeeaaawwawwwwnnptht: 2.5
  • Reasons why this film is called “The Room”: 0

Overall: -804 / 5

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