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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Thunderbirds (2004)

A guest review by @danfoxdavies.

Synopsis

JONATHAN FRAKES and BEN KINGSLEY happen to a BELOVED 1960’s CLASSIC of OVERLY OPTIMISTIC SCI-FI set somewhen around NOW. And so do BUSTED.

Meanwhile, PROFESSOR HIRAM ‘BRAINS’ HACKENBACKER is tied to a SOFA, which is later telekinetically lobbed through a WINDOW before they ALL go to LONDON for a WHEEL CLAMP DESIGNER’S NIGHTMARE.

By the Numbers

  • Gerry Anderson, in Rotations Per Grave: 39.7
  • Fourth wall-breaking polyphonic ringtones: 2
  • FAB1, max number of wheels on the road: 6
  • FAB1, jet engines under the hood: 1
  • Hoodies: 0
  • Hoodwinks: 0
  • The Hood, in Maniacal Laughs: 2
  • Mullion, in Maniacal Laughs: 2
  • Accidental Mole Levitations: 1
  • Bad CGI Hornets: 18462
  • Sounds That Can’t Be Made: 500
  • Sounds That Can’t Be Made: 0
  • “I must warn you that I know judo, krai magna and taekwondo!”
    “Yes, and I know Parker.”: 1
  • “You’ve broken my nose!”
    “Yes, that was the intention of the manoeuvre!”: 1
  • Number of escape pods and space suits on Thunderbirds 3 & 5: 0
  • Boss battle setups for the inevitable videogame to utterly ignore: 6
  • These: disappointingly, 0

Overall: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 / 5

3 replies on “Thunderbirds (2004)”

I have since checked what became of Gerry Anderson. Turns out he died of Alzheimer’s on Boxing Day, 2012, and his body was cremated. At the time this film was made, he refused to take part. Sylvia Anderson, however, happily took on a consulting role. So perhaps the first number point is not entirely accurate.

Danfox Davies wrote:

There was also the name of Brains’ prodigal son. Fermat.
As a matter of fact, there could be a point to say ‘Brains’ son: for n > 2, a^n + b^n = c^n < 0'

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