Synopsis
ROBIN WILLIAMS and JOAN CUSACK, the NUTTIEST NUT-BARS in NUTBAR LAND, have their TOY FACTORY taken over by MICHAEL GAMBON and 12-year-old LL COOL J. They try to make WEAPONISED CHILDRENS’ TOYS (which I couldn’t possibly condone), but are defeated by a DARING MILITARY RAID and SUICIDE TOY TROOPS, because… war is bad?
By the Numbers
- Beanie hat pacemakers: 1
- Pop-up house, in levels of recursion: 2
- Heads vomited by larger heads: 15
- Stakhanovite pop songs: 1
- Big cocks: Somehow, 1
- Satanic canapes: 23
- LL Cool Js per Sofa: 0.25
- Vaginal mazes: 0
- Simpsons: 1
- Sexual innuendos per minute: significantly more than 0
- Restricted montages: 1
- Vomit of the White Man: 1
- MTV Dali: 1
- Volvos destroyed: 0
- Clockwork Radars: 3
- Scary skellingtones: 4
- Ender’s Games: 0.65
- Speeches borrowed from: 6
- Synchronised tank ORGies: 1
- Swiss Army Bastards: 1
- Unidentified Flying Bubble-blowing Elephant Graves: 1
- 90s: 90 (‘sup Enya, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Seal and people wearing frock coats with no shame)
- Whimsicle fuckery: over 9000
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