Synopsis

Some MINDLESS HIGH-SCHOOL BULLSHIT carries on for AN HOUR AND A HALF.  PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA are the only two LIKABLE CHARACTERS, both of whom are regarded by the REST OF THE CAST as PSYCHOPATHS. Said REST OF THE CAST are ANNOYING WASTES OF SKIN from an inexplicably high-budget episode of SAVED BY THE BELL.

By the Numbers

• Huge bratwurst pulsating with desire: 1
• Age of main characters: irritatingly, 17
• Cats: 2
• Frogs (dissected): 10
• Slaps Ms Perky needs: 207
• Slaps the dad needs: 972
• Dickfaces: 1
• Heath Ledgers: 1
• Beer-flavoured nipples: 0
• Things I hate about you, yes you, the reader: 10
• Things I hate about this movie: over 9000
• Shrews tamed: 0.5
• Shakespeare turning in his grave, in revs per minute: 64

Overall: 2 / 5