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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Disaster Movie

Synopsis

what is this i dont even

By the Numbers

  • Films parodied: 198
  • Gladiatorial caveman bollock-shots: 1
  • Sabre-toothed Amy Winehouses: 1
  • Tequila, litres per second: 2.08
  • Sunny D, litres per second: 5.6
  • Flava flav dongs: 0.13
  • Hulk dongs: 0.95
  • Carmen Electas shot: 1
  • Sex and the City stars defeated by Juno lactation: 1
  • Limbs rained: 647
  • High School Musical factor: too fucking much
  • Kardashians, % of LD50: 1760
  • Ring ring ring ring ring: Burgerphone
  • Pregnant breakdances: 1
  • Ron Perlmans crushed by cows: 0 (BECAUSE RON PERLMAN)
  • Rabid metal chipmunks: 3 \m/
  • Unlikely dating scenarios: 87
  • Drugs the scriptwriters were on: ALL THE DRUGS

9999

Overall: -9999 / 5

APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD

APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD

APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD

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