Synopsis

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY is a SLACKER whose PARENTS hire SARAH-JESSICA PARKER to be his GIRLFRIEND so that he will leave home. Blah, blah, ZOOEY DESCHANEL, blah, blah, happily ever after.

By the Numbers

• People savaged by chipmunks: 1
• Mockingbirds shot: 1
• Mockingbirds given CPR: 1
• Lizards experiencing schadenfreude: 1
• Zooey Deschanel: present
• Failed launches: 0
• Successful launches: 0
• Launches of any kind whatsoever: 0
• “Meh” factor: over 9000

Overall: 2 / 5