CHESTY JAKE, a ZOMBIE, fights TERRORISM! CHESTY JAKE wins.
Note: actual film may be approximately a thousand times more gripping than this synopsis.
By the Numbers
- Quantum Leap factor: 132
- TWEWY factor: 96
- Assassin’s Creed factor: 147
- Tension factor: over 9000
- Times main character is killed: 9?
- Times main character is freaking out in a tiny geodesic dome: 9
- Times main character is really killed: 0.87?
- Times Bing is, illogically, searched: 1
- People who are, illogically, glad to see Chicago: 1
- Virtual girlfriends: 1
- Wavefunctions collapsed: 0
- Things that are real: Some, maybe? To be honest, I… I’m not even sure I am anymore.
- Lines of source code: 0
Overall: 5 / 5
Copenhagen interpretation fo’ life, yo.