Synopsis

THE APPLE GUY (not ROBERT WEBB, the AMERICAN ONE) is secretly MY BROTHER-IN-LAW. He gets into a long-distance relationship with DREW BARRYMORE. It’s all VERY FAMILIAR. A couple of AMUSING THINGS happen. Some SAD THINGS happen. A lot more EMBARRASSING THINGS happen. CENTIPEDE happens. HEARTS are WARMED, ETCETERA.

MAYA, STATUE.

By the Numbers

• Punches in the face that Amy needs: 742
• Own dicks sucked: 1
• Centipedophiles: 2
• Miles fucked: 2564
• Unexpected this: 1
• Successful tans: 0
• Dicks, in percent: 20
• Phone sex, in embarrassment: over 9000
• Dry humping: too much
• Tom Cruise toilet paper, in rolls: 1 (theoretical)
• Unexpected Hitlers: 1
• Angry Jews: 2

Overall: 3 / 5