Synopsis

Young HP LOVECRAFT visits HIS FATHER in a MENTAL ASYLUM, where the FATHER largely rants about a MAD ARAB and a BOOK that must be destroyed. HOWARD, traumatised by the experience, is wisely given his father’s MAGIC SPELLBOOK which teleports him to the “Frozen Kingdom” of R’YLEH.

By the Numbers

• Old Ones renamed “Spot”: 1
• Adorable pet Cthulhu mounts: 1
• ‎Deep One Ice Climbers: 2
• ‎Squishy fish for dinner: 70
• ‎Snowthulhus built: 1
• ‎Wild West snowball showdowns with evil gods: 1
• ‎Seconds of needless animation-budget-saving build up to Wild West showdown: 206
• ‎Bullet time: what
• ‎”Dodge this!”: Yep
• Minutes of random cartoon flashback (when they really ran out of animation budget): 5
• Mountains of Madness: 3
• Super Fun Happy Slides of Madness: 1
• Shoggoths voiced by Ron Perlman: Present
• Time taken between noticing the Elder Sign and going splat, seconds: 0.4
• Girls called Abdul: 1
• Nyarlathoteps just casually chilling in the background: 1
• Goblins slapped to death by tiny Deep Ones: Yeah, that happened
• : That too

Overall: / 5

“Did you know a shoggoth can squish a penguin?!”