Another guest review by Danfox Davies!

Synopsis

A VACUOUS FAN GIRL conveniently finds herself marooned on a DESERT ISLAND with a VACUOUS BOY BAND LEAD SINGER. Unwanted CROWD SURFING. GOSSIP.

Robinson Crusoe it ain’t.

By the Numbers

• Temperature in Indonesia: 95
• Robin Williams wannabe, in false melodrama: 22.2
• In auto-failed efforts to be cool: 8.7
• Comprendez: 6
• Ungrateful brats: 2
• Arbiters of taste: 0
• Arbiters of Chester: somehow, 1
• Baywatch × cheesy romantic comedy - all remaining intellect = this.
• Arbitrary manufactured plot points: over 9000
• Miles from civilisation: 3
• Vacuous Bimbos surviving hurricanes: too many
• That’s: What she said.
• Caves dwelt in: 1
• Cumulative IQ of characters: 1
• Subtitles, in alignment to speech: -20
• Lies subverted: 100 percent
• Lies subsequently reverted: 100 percent
• Things this somehow makes OK: 100 percent
• Error: 404, plot not found.

Overall: -3000 / 5

And the moral of this story is… Vacuous bratty bimbo fans always get to live out their fantasies with no negative consequences?