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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Scott Pilgrim vs the World

Synopsis

MARK ZUCKERBERG dates a CHINESE SCHOOLGIRL. Then he doesn’t. Naturally, this causes ALL KIDS OF EPIC SHIT.

By the Numbers:

  • Logo, in bits: 8
  • DDR, in ninjas: 2
  • Scott Pilgrim, in Zuckerbergs: 0.97
  • Kim, in evil stares: 67
  • Ramona’s cupboard, in teas: 15
  • Julie’s mouth, in self-censorings: 7
  • Studio audiences, in laughs: 9
  • :O, in :Os: 1
  • Vegan police, in heterosexuality: -37
  • Malletspaces, in MOTHERFUCKING MALLETSPACES: 1
  • Lesbian Battles, in Soul Calibur moves: 18
  • Orgasms, in points earned: 4000
  • Battles of the Bands, in pyrotechnics: over 9000
  • Battles of the Bands, in property damage, Canadian Dollars: 64,018,879
  • Last boss fight, in special effects: 845,177,109
  • Final score: 7,000,000,000
  • Kim, in gothloli dress and furry cat ears: 999,999,999,999

Overall: 5 / 5

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