Synopsis

FIVE PEOPLE’S MONUMENTAL HANGOVER is rudely interrupted by MYSTERIOUS ALIEN LIGHTS which trash half of LOS ANGELES and steal THE POPULATION.

Frankly, an improvement.

By the Numbers

• Matrixy squid things: 3
• Sharknadoes: 0
• Humannadoes: 7
• Lichtenberg figure tattoos: 4
• Units of alcohol consumed, characters: 38
• Units of alcohol consumed, review team: 7
• Locks shot open in an action movie: Somehow, 0
• Candace: Bu-bu-bu-bu-but
• Phineases and Ferbs: 0
• Air Force commanders who have a passing familiarity with Independence Day: 0
• Implausibly maneuverable stealth bombers: 5
• Nuclear explosions survived by hiding behind the sofa: 1
• Axe-induced brain impalements: 1
• Breezeblock beatings: 17
• Fighter jet beheadings: WHAT
• B-Movie factor: over 9000
• YAY, SKULLFUCKING
• Ferraris eaten by Jurassic Park aliens: 1
• Nissan Skylines, eaten or otherwise: 0
• Anything even remotely skyline-related: Nope
• Brains eaten by evil tentacle aliens: Ya Ry’leh
• “Something is happening!”: No fucking shit, really?!
• “It just doesn’t seem real.”: It’s not, it’s a movie!
• Ending: Haha nope, buy the sequel and maybe you’ll find out!

Overall: 3 / 5