FIVE PEOPLE’S MONUMENTAL HANGOVER is rudely interrupted by MYSTERIOUS ALIEN LIGHTS which trash half of LOS ANGELES and steal THE POPULATION.
Frankly, an improvement.
By the Numbers
- Matrixy squid things: 3
- Sharknadoes: 0
- Humannadoes: 7
- Lichtenberg figure tattoos: 4
- Units of alcohol consumed, characters: 38
- Units of alcohol consumed, review team: 7
- Locks shot open in an action movie: Somehow, 0
- Candace: Bu-bu-bu-bu-but
- Phineases and Ferbs: 0
- Air Force commanders who have a passing familiarity with Independence Day: 0
- Implausibly maneuverable stealth bombers: 5
- Nuclear explosions survived by hiding behind the sofa: 1
- Axe-induced brain impalements: 1
- Breezeblock beatings: 17
- Fighter jet beheadings: WHAT
- B-Movie factor: over 9000
- YAY, SKULLFUCKING
- Ferraris eaten by Jurassic Park aliens: 1
- Nissan Skylines, eaten or otherwise: 0
- Anything even remotely skyline-related: Nope
- Brains eaten by evil tentacle aliens: Ya Ry’leh
- “Something is happening!”: No fucking shit, really?!
- “It just doesn’t seem real.”: It’s not, it’s a movie!
- Ending: Haha nope, buy the sequel and maybe you’ll find out!
Overall: 3 / 5