Synopsis

ROMULUS gets nuked by a SUPERNOVA, VULCAN gets nuked by a BLACK HOLE, and all Earth has to show for it is almost getting nuked by a GIANT-ASS SPACE DRILL. Poor show, Earthlings. Also, an ODD-NUMBERED STAR TREK FILM is ACTUALLY GOOD.

By the Numbers

• Kobayashi Maru: 1
• Pretty Spaceships: 7
• Scenes with Bones in them: 34 (not enough)
• Scenes with Scottie in them: 15 (not enough)
• Approximate age of Chekov: 12
• Members of the Cast that Eric Wants: 3
• Comedy Red-Shirt Moments: 1
• Leonard Nimoy: 1
• Romulans’ Passion for Drilling: Over 9000
• Regard for Health & Safety Regulations in Romulan Ship Design: 0
• Chances of Kirk Being put on Just the Right Planet at Just the Right Time to be Saved from the Gribbly Creature by Old Spock: 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000001
• Cookies baked whilst watching this film: 12

Overall: 4 / 5