Categories
Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Star Trek Generations

A guest review by Ian‭ “‬Devo‭” ‬Montgomery

Synopsis

Timelines collide…‭ ‬but not really.‭ ‬A sparkly bliss-ribbon flies through space which a crazy old British nutter wants to throw himself into in the most convoluted and mass-murderous manner imaginable.‭ ‬Also,‭ ‬the greatest question in the history of Star Trek is finally answered:‭ ‬Who is the better starship captain‭? (‬It’s Sisko‭!)

By the Numbers

  • Wasted bottles of space champagne‭: ‬1
  • William Shatner’s dramatic pauses‭: ‬0‭ (‬You’re doing it wrong‭!!)
  • Key ship systems scheduled for Tuesday installation‭: ‬3
  • Men overboard‭: ‬1‭ ‬+‭ ‬1‭ ‬woman
  • Feels‭: ‬Dammit Picard,‭ ‬stop crying‭! ;__;
  • Shockwave level‭: ‬OVER NINE-‭ ‬it’s‭ ‬12‭ (‬trololol‭)
  • Appointments with eternity kept‭: ‬2
  • Picard‭ ‬+‭ ‬Kirk‭ = ‬Meh…

Overall: 2 / 5

Leave a Reply