Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

A guest review by Ian “Devo” Montgomery


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… FUCKING POLITICS happened. Vaguely alluded-to bullshit about trade routes and space taxes leads to an ARMY OF EVIL ROBOTS invading the planet FANTASIA, and so the CHILD-LIKE EMPRESS calls upon the KNIGHTS OF THE SPACE TABLE to pull her out of the shit. Adventure, fun and intrigue DO NOT follow as they are replaced by an ANNOYING FROG-RABBIT and a CREEPY LITTLE BOY who has the hots for a girl TWICE HIS AGE! (No wonder George Lucas started with Episode IV…)

By the Numbers

Overall: 1 / 5

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