A guest review by Ian “Devo” Montgomery
Synopsis
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… The BAD GUYS ran out of ideas and thought “Fuck it, let’s build another planet-busting space station! I’m sure those MEDDLING KIDS won’t blow this one up!” And where does that line of thought take them? To a HUMILIATING DEFEAT by a bunch of fucking TEDDY BEARS! Dumbasses…
By the Numbers
- Sinister robo-eyes: 1
- Moblins: 8
- Crazy, cackling bat-parrot-goblin…things: 1
- Decorative jazz-hands: 2
- Tentacle molestations: Here we go again…
- Robots inexplicably programmed to feel pain: At least 3
- Minimum number of tits required for exotic dancers on Tatooine: 6
- Pointless CGI band members: 2
- Monster munch: 2
- Adorable reunions between a man and his man-bear-dog: 1
- Hideous man-children weeping over pet murder-beasts: 1
- People devoured by giant sand rectum: 5
- Incidents of psychic paedophilia: 1
- Failed sneak rolls: 1
- High-speed air-bike jackings: 1
- Incidents of high-speed tree-hugging: 4
- DO A BARREL ROLL!: 2
- Tribal teddy bears: Over 9000!!!
- Memes that will never die: At least 2
- Teddy Ruxpins: None
- Teddy Roosevelts: Also none
- Golden idols: 1
- Epic bedtime stories with added sound effects: 1
- Twincest: NOPE, NOT THIS TIME
- Winnie the Joyrider: 1
- Games of tag played: 1
- Giant robo-chickens of death: 4
- Space Nazis lynched by teddy bears: 14
- Teddy bears use Rock Throw on Robot Chicken: It’s not very effective…
- SHOOP DA WHOOP: 2
- Stormtroopers that can actually AIM: 2
- Teddy bear picnics: Nope
- Teddy bear massacres: Oh my, yes >:D
- Air-bike tetherball: AIR-BIKE TETHERBALL
- Chicken sandwiches: 1
- Idiot stormtroopers that should have just SHOT THE GOOD GUYS instead of trying to capture them: 2
- Seconds the big bad wastes hurting the hero when he should have just killed him: 20
- Sudden, inevitable betrayals: 1
- Gargantuan battleships destroyed by one measly fighter: SERIOUSLY!?
- Redeemed mass murderers: 1
- Forest moons set ablaze by nearby exploding space stations: FUCK PHYSICS
- Galaxy-spanning regimes toppled by the loss of one space station and one emperor: Oh fuck it all, it’s over now :P
- Episodes: 7 (FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUU—)
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