When a GANG OF EVIL PIGS arrive at BIRD ISLAND, it’s up to three ANGRY and INEVITABLY COLOUR-CODED BIRDS to save the day by flinging themselves at the PIGS. Meanwhile, the audience learns an important lesson: JOHNNY FOREIGNER is here to STEAL YOUR CHILDREN and should immediately be distrusted, especially if they have BEARDS. And if they do turn out to be bad, LEVEL THEIR CITY and DESTROY THEIR ENTIRE CIVILISATION using HIGH-INTENSITY ARTILLERY BOMBARDMENT.


By the Numbers

  • Cock jokes: 1
  • Arse jokes: 2
  • Lunchboxes vomited into: 2
  • Percent justification for anger issues: OVER 9000
  • Policebirds shat on: 1
  • Shades of Green: 50
  • Plunger boobs: 2
  • Strip shows: Somehow, TWO?!
  • Insta-ham: what
  • Abs, per Eagle: 36
  • Eagle piss spat into each other’s mouths while synchronised swimming: WHAAAAAT
  • References to The Shining that the kids will totally get: 1
  • Pigs eating sausages: 1
  • Cakes baked without eggs: presumably 2
  • Birds with Arms: 907
  • Actors for whom this is a career low: All of them. Except Sean Penn.

Overall: 2 / 5