Synopsis

FAMOUS BULLSHITTERS the BROTHERS GRIMM bullshit their way from town to town, until they discover a RARE CASE OF NON-BULLSHIT. They then proceed to SUCK for about an hour, until there’s an ECLIPSE and the HEROES have to smash a MIRROR and flee a DISINTEGRATING TOWER and kiss the PRINCESS and… jeez, have these guys never played an RPG before? This should have been so much more obvious to them.

…What?

Also: IT’S NOT BEANS. TRUST THE TOAD.

By the Numbers

• Magic beans: 5
• Times Heath Ledger is accused of buggery: 1
• Heath Ledger / Matt Damon Slash Factor: over 9000
• Uses of the Random Accent Generator: 127
• Scenes in which no filters are used: 0
• Epic shoulderpads: 2
• Cardboard and tin-foil shields: 2
• Lunar Exalts with the “Summoning the Loyal Steel” charm: 1
• Angelica’s sisters: 2
• Angelica’s sisters credited: 4
• Spiderhorse: 1
• Spiderhorse: 1
• Things that a Spider can do that Spiderhorse does: 2
• Kittens blended: Somehow, 1
• Kitten entrails eaten: Somehow, 1
• Quiches that would have been preferred: 1
• Terry Gilliam: Yes

Overall: 4 / 5